2002-04-30 
 

big and green

As usual, I got off to a late start this morning. Knowing I had an 8:00 meeting, I took all the normal shortcuts and made it within a few blocks of work with minutes to spare...but then I tried turning the corner and found a roadblock. Seems that they've decided to film The Hulk mere blocks away from my office and there is currently a cable car tipped over on the street that I would normally drive down. Seems the Hulk got a little angry at the gawking tourists and just flipped it right over...or something. So for the next few weeks, I'm going to have to figure in an extra 10 minutes or so into my commute. On the plus side, maybe I can get Zip into a background shot. It would be nice to have him immortalized on film...especially since he's about to turn 100,000 and probably won't be around for too many more years.

Labels: dose of mikey, san francisco

* posted by me at 2:58 AM

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2002-04-28 
 

languid

Didn't do much this weekend. It's the end of the month and money's tight, which has a way of enticing one to stay around the ol' homestead. Made apple cobbler this morning and then spaghetti tonight. This afternoon, while G got sucked into word games on the computer, I finally put about a year's worth of photo's into the album. Kept some aside to fill in a triptych frame that's been laying around empty for quite some time.

Yesterday we paid the bills in the afternoon then got out for a walk. Went up over the hill so that we could see into the Castro. We were hoping to see the comet before it fades into the darkness, but its position made it difficult and the viewing conditions weren't with us. Later on we found a Cary Grant marathon playing on PBS. Caught the end of The Philadelphia Story. Then Charade, which was hilarious. I've decided that I really like Audrey Hepburn. The last movie was an old black and white one that I'd never seen before. The theme seemed like something I'd seen in other movies before, but it was still entertaining. Especially after I realized that The Amazing Quest of Ernest Bliss was probably the source all the other movies I'd seen borrowed from in the first place.

Hmmm...I guess we did do stuff this weekend after all.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, linkage, random review

* posted by me at 11:49 PM

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2002-04-25 
 

breath free

I love Listerine Pocket Packs. They have become an essential part of my life. Think this is strange? Try them, you'll see!

"Fresh breath's a priority in my life."

Labels: dose of mikey, linkage

* posted by me at 11:12 PM

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2002-04-24 
 

addicted

Lately, G and I have found ourselves sucked into playing Text Twist. It's like heroin. You sit down, load up and when you look up, you've lost several hours of your life. The difference of course being that heroin will kill you, whereas this just makes you a faster thinker.

In other news: been thinking of m a lot and wondering how she's settling into her new space. I have this image of little e growing up along the beach and it pleases me.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, linkage

* posted by me at 12:31 AM

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2002-04-22 
 

I would just like to state for the record that I did not need to wear a sweater today. It is beautiful gorgeous springtime outside.

April is indeed the cruelest month. Her sun dappled greenery gives hope that drops - dead and brown - come November. (Or whatever.)

Labels: dose of mikey

* posted by me at 12:43 PM

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2002-04-20 
 

two soulmates

Soulmates are made. They don't form out of nothingness. Two souls who click, get together in heaven and decide to make a go of it. That's me and G. I don't know how I know it, I only know that it's true.

This life hasn't been easy for him. We chose it because...well because soulmates need a challenge. We gave it to ourselves.

My life started 32 years ago. His 38.

We finally met, much later than we'd hoped, in a 7-11 under the full moon...and from there it grew.

Our life together hasn't been easy. I always say that we frontloaded all the serious stuff so that...well, so that we could get at the truly serious stuff. We've fought, we've tried to convince ourselves that we'll never see eye to eye.

But our love transcends all that. It helps us know that there isn't an I to I. Just us. And when the time comes that he must leave. I will linger...loving him always, as he watches gently from the other side.

The truth I've realized just now is that I don't know who has to linger. Who has to spend the lonely years alone. I've always felt it would be me, but it could be him. My love knows that he'll make it if that's so, and my heart knows that for me there'll be no other way should he move on first.

Two soulmates. Not formed out of the infinite garden, but decisively made. By us. For us.

We're still young enough for this to be our first time around. Be kind.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, spirit

* posted by me at 4:07 AM

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2002-04-19 
 

liquid paint

We watched What Dreams May Come. If you can get your hands on the DVD, watch the alternate ending. The ending that was intended. I'm not saying you'll love it either way, but the alternate is better.

Labels: linkage, random review

* posted by me at 2:59 PM

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dream of fields

I saw Bunny G earlier this week and had a lovely afternoon with her. Was very happy that I got to see her alone this time. Recently I'd come to realize that I haven't seen her alone in over a year. Since I have my doubts about how much cult is in her commune, it was nice to do the one-on-one thing with her. I suspect she found it odd that I'd be concerned over that, especially since I know how strong she is; but the readings I've gotten from some of her new family have been pretty odd. They open their arms to people, but only while that person wants to come closer to their inner circle. When a person walks away, they just turn their backs. In such a small, closed society, that could be devastating and I do worry that she'd feel trapped. She doesn't, and having seen her alone, I finally believe that.

As for me, since their philosophies are based on a heterosexual paradigm, there's really not much for me there. They've been exceedingly polite in their interactions with me, but I've gradually come to feel that they tolerate me only as Bun's pet. A curiosity better left outside. That's ok. I look on all this as Bun's latest adventure. It may be an adventure that lasts the rest of this lifetime, but I know that we still end up in the same field. Even if we climb up different tubes.

Labels: dose of mikey, looking upward, spirit

* posted by me at 1:14 AM

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2002-04-16 
 

advice and how to avoid it

I can't really write much about my job. It's sounds silly but a lot of things are considered proprietary information and I sure don't want to get into trouble for what I do in my down time. So as far as this site is concerned, I work at the American Icon.

Then there's the advice. When I say that I work for this American Icon, everybody wants to give me their advice. Whether they're a teacher, a doctor or a garbage collector, they think they have the solution for my company's problems. Not only that, but they seem to feel it's their duty to point these problems out. I'm not quite sure if this is because of my company's iconic status, or just because people want to believe they know everything. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Labels: dose of mikey, sharketing

* posted by me at 9:26 PM

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2002-04-15 
 

au jus

Took Dad over the Golden Gate today and up into the Marin Headlands. Beautiful views. Also checked out Point Bonita Lighthouse. My first time actually getting to go all the way out. Past times I've had to turn back due to weather. (and after walking across that narrow suspension bridge in yesterday's winds, I'm pretty greatful that they don't just let you in every day) Totally worthwhile checking it out if your ever there.

Realization of the day: I don't like asking for extras when I'm in a busy restaurant since I have this old recording that tells me to be happy with what's set in front of me, but G's a bit more pragmatic than that. (we are paying for it after all) Last night he knew I wanted more au jus with my prime rib and just asked for it. If he ever leaves me, I'll have to do it on my own again, but it's nice to have somebody to help me record over the old tapes.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, local getaway

* posted by me at 1:13 AM

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2002-04-12 
 

information day

Today is 4-11. It's m's b-day. I hope that she and little e are doing well in their new digs. If I had the power to teleport, m's the first person I'd pop over to see for a cuppa.

Tonight G's out with a friend, so I've got the place to myself. This is nice since I'm not often able to be here all alone, and one of the most important things I've learned about myself in a relationship is that I still need me time. I can always go out, but it's nice to be in our space all by myself every now and again. Unfortunately, I'm a bit too tired tonight to really do anything much.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, shout out

* posted by me at 2:11 AM

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2002-04-11 
 

going to the beach

G shakes his feet. Sometimes he rocks back and forth. (I have my own unique quirks, such as chomping loudly while I eat, but we won't talk about that today.) At night, when he's falling asleep, G kicks his legs. He also does this in the mornings when he's marginally awake. At first I thought this might be a symptom of something dangerous. I looked it up. Many people do this. It's relatively common. It could be a symptom of ADD or something worse, but then again maybe not. So, for a little while I worried that something was wrong. Then one lazy Sunday morning about a year ago, we were lounging in bed and I noticed that he was moving both of his feet back and forth rapidly. I finally asked him why he did that. Still half asleep, he pulled me close and murmured, "I'm swimming us to shore."

I don't get worried anymore.

Labels: dose of mikey, g

* posted by me at 1:04 AM

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2002-04-10 
 

painting the sky

This article was most fascinating. I get pictures of little people in white coveralls suspended from some unseen scaffolding and creating murals in order to save the earth.

And when I'm not out painting asteroids, I'm dreaming of investing in alpacas.

ETA: The painting the sky link is dead. I believe that the original link lead to a Discovery Channel page about how artists are used to color in celestial phenomenon in order to give them more depth and visual interest. The second link was still active as of July 2008 when I finally got around to tagging this entry.

Labels: linkage

* posted by me at 12:39 AM

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2002-04-09 
 

road food

We had a nice weekend visiting G's parents who live in a retirement town outside of Sacramento. Hot shower! (Did I mention that we haven't had hot water in the apartment since last Thursday?) One of the things I like most about going up to visit them is the fact that all normal rules of nutrition are suspended while you're on the road so fast food becomes not only legal, but highly desirable. No McDevil's for us though. We stick to the best. It becomes a type of car game to spot signs for In-N-Out Burger. They stick to the classics. Burger, shakes and fries. And everything's fresh. You can watch them push a potatoe through the slicer, that's how fresh the fries are. So incredibly yummy.

This has been deep thoughts, by Jack Handy.

Labels: dose of mikey, g, linkage, local getaway

* posted by me at 2:22 AM

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2002-04-05 
 

trudging

OK, Blogger hasn't been too bad to me overall, but lately it seems to be snagging every time I want to publish. Which is very frustrating...especially if you're trying to make the site more slick. So, the linked pages will be looking better...but only if I can get the files to upload.

Labels: blogging

* posted by me at 2:15 PM

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2002-04-04 
 

i'm here, i'm queer

I've taken this test before, but every once in a while I like to go back and see if it's changed. Seems I just get gayer with every passing month.

Labels: dose of mikey, memes, the gay

* posted by me at 6:58 PM

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inside hollywood

I was a bit disappointed by The Anniversary Party. I think my biggest gripe is that the film couldn't decide what it wanted to be. A slice of life vignette? A modern morality play? An update of The Big Chill? A comment on how celebrities are just like the rest of us? (Which they are most certainly not. Though many of them try to deny it, fame has a way of tinting the world around you that cannot be experienced by the masses.) Not that I wouldn't recommend this movie to certain friends. (Anyone who enjoyed Film and Ideology back in college) Good bits included Kevin Kline and Phoebe Kates (and their real life kids), some great dialogue, "Once you have children, you can't commit suicide, because kids rob you of that option." or the more joyous, "I need to jump up and down now." Some really great acting from a cast full of real life friends. Which is probably why I was disappointed by the ending. I wanted it to have more sense of purpose. Throughout the movie the dialogue is rather introspective and ego based. I wish one of these characters could have made some statement at the end that would have....not put a pretty bow on things, but at least stamped it with some sort of legend on how to read the film.

Labels: linkage, random review

* posted by me at 1:44 AM

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rising from the ashes

Had dinner with Phoenix recently. It was really good to see him and catch up. And for the first time, I felt ok talking to him about the darker side of my relationship with G. I finally fessed up to the fact that I had avoided talking about problems I might have been having because I was afraid of further souring him on the idea of love. Every couple worth it's salt is going to have some hard times, but I wouldn't even mention anything to him a year ago, so it felt good to talk about that. It was also good to talk to someone who understands G's need to shut down when we're arguing. Especially when my strategy is usually to talk everything into the ground. (Dude has always understood G's way as well, and has been a great source of insight, but reinforcement is good.)

In other news: he's moving northward. Not sure why, but this feels like the right move for him. I'm sad that he's going away, but happy that he's on a path of his own choosing instead of just concentrating on getting one foot in front of the other.

Yay! Good food and good conversation. Love that!

Labels: dose of mikey, g, shout out

* posted by me at 12:42 AM

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2002-04-02 
 

time after time

i sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to go back and relive my life from...oh 17 or so...only with all the wisdom i've gained over the past decade. I'd get to sit back and be an observer in my own mind - acting to change the past only when I felt it was absolutely necessary....and there would be the rub: Every time I sprang into action to stop myself from doing something in the past, I'd lose the knowledge that the experience had given me. While stopping myself from eating that Chinese Shrimp Special back in '92 would have given me a few days free of intestinal woe, I would also not have an aversion to asian shrimp dishes...which could leave me vulnerable to a dish of death shrimp that I order in '94 (in Timeline 2) that I wouldn't have eaten in Timeline 1. I'm obviously oversimplifying here, but I think my point is that I find it fascinating to think about how much I'd change about my past if I could and how that change might effect my present state of well being. After all, I'm a pretty much a happy guy in Timeline 1.

Labels: dose of mikey, spirit

* posted by me at 12:42 AM

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2002-04-01 
 

know you now

so, i'm a sucker for those questionnaires that pop up from time to time, although, i must confess that i rarely leave them as is...i often change the questions in order to best express my mood of the day...after all, the internet is a living medium

anyway, here's the latest:

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
I'd take over the top of Twin Peaks in San Francisco and build a castle, but I'd let them keep the observation deck down below, because beauty is meant to be shared.

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
I'm very fond of a long sleeve RadioHead t-shirt that G and I share. On the front it says "Most people gaze neither into the past nor the future; they explore neither truth nor lies. They gaze at the television." and on the back it says, "he knew that if he died tonight, he would die happy because he was loved" I like this for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because one of my fave things to do is sit in front of the television with G.

3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF WHATEVER GENDER(S) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
I like faces. Bodies are nice of course, but it's mostly about the face and what it looks like in different moods.

4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?
I actually bought a record this weekend. It was Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass - South of the Border. Very fun. My last CD purchased was around Christmas time. Sigur Ros "Agaetis Byrjun" Truly syrup for the ears. Check out the first two videos here. (if you can get them to work.)

5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Surrounded by people I love. Or all alone, but with people I love nearby.

6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Out of bed on a cold morning when G's still sleeping and looking all comfy.

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
On the head, but only by someone I trust completely. Random people touching my head get a nasty look and sometimes a shove.

8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
I'm all about balance, but I lean towards the mind.

9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
Around 7am on weekdays and 10am on the weekends. Unless I'm tired.

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
I'm fond of the breadmaker. Love the fridge, it keeps things fresh. Stove and micro heat 'em up real nice. Toaster too. But my favorite? Without reservation I'll have to say the Gibson 2000 multipurpose baking machine.

11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
This: http://tolerance.org/maps/hate/index.html

12. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The harpsichord.

13. SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?
Waking up at 3:30 am all alone and feeling like I was going to die, leaving my body to be found days later by the smell seeping out beneath the door.

14. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT CURRENT/FORMER MOVIE STAR WOULD PLAY YOU?
probably ricky shroeder - or jennie mccarthy

15. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE AND AT WHAT AGE?
I was in love with Michelle at age five. She rejected me and I decided to try for Tim instead. I'd like to say a big thanks to Michelle for that one!

16. THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN?
Anything by J. S. Bach

17. WHICH DO YOU PREFER: SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Hmmm...this smacks of the old croutons or bacon bits question. An Orwellian illusion of choice. Doubleplus ungood.

18. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
Been there.

19. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Depends which of my inner children you ask. I loved Who's Mouse are You when Mom was expecting. Anything by Beverly Cleary for a while because the kids seemed so normal and I knew deep down that I wasn't...then I discovered the world of scifi and the realm of fantasy. The Girl With the Silver Eyes, The Mouse and His Child, and The Phantom Tollbooth being early favorites. And of course, The Chronicles of Narnia...in fact any book describing the adventures of children exploring magical worlds...or not just advanced...A Wrinkle in Time (and Wind at the Door and A Swiftly Tilting Planet)

That takes you up through 7th grade at which point I started to read books I found on the shelf: Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me and Portnoy's Complaint. Didn't understand them totally, but was influenced enough by the first to go back and reread Winnie the Pooh, Alice in Wonderland and Tales of the Brothers Grimm with a new eye and by the second to start reading Eli Wiesel and anything else Jewish I could get my hands on. OK, this was probably way more than you needed to know, but it's like asking a Deadhead about their favorite trip. Reading always has been my drug of choice.

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Spring - whenever it decides to show up, be it February or September. (both of which are completely normal times for spring in SF)

21. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?
Moving.

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Teleportation. Then I could have a cuppa with whomever, whenever I wanted.

23. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
It's a symbol created by Mark and myself when he was crashing in SF, that we both have on our upper arm. It's a bit of the recycle symbol crossed with the yin-yang symbol with infinity loops running around it.

24. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
In my profession, it's called mulit-tasking.

25. WHO IS THE ONE PERSON YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TALK TO?
My grandmother. While your at it, could you give me the ability to speak fluent german instead of this pigeon deutsche? Then the two of us could REALLY have a nice chat.

26. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
My birthday.

27. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
Clothes for the homeless, clothes in case I get very wet, random car stuff (ie a jack, motor oil, rope to tie things up with) and an old army blanket that we used to take to the beach when I was a child.

28. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
I prefer Ahi Tuna, otherwise I'd choose a Niman Ranch burger over random sushi. McDonalds is evil.

Labels: dose of mikey, memes

* posted by me at 12:25 AM

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