2002-07-31 
 

mousse attack!

Spent the evening with Lena. We ended up at Ti Couz eating the most delicious chocolate mousse: highly recommended. It was a good night for lingering conversations and we had a lot to catch up on. She went on three dates this past weekend! (I was quite impressed with this as I don't recall ever managing that back in my own single days. Sex sure, but not actual dates. Which may tell you more than you needed to know, but in that case, you oughtn't to be reading this. The internet's a big place, and you can go play elsewhere. But I digress...) She had a good time on all of them, but seems hooked on one more than the others. Three bits of unsolicited advice: Give them all a bit of a chance. It's ok to play through red flags as long as you're just in it for the fun and your expectations remain low. And last, but certainly not least, never rule out the fourth! (This advice is good for anyone out there and can be used in non-relationship situations as well. That's why I'm making a point of writing it down: so I can remember it next time I'm faced with choices.)

Site of the day can be found here. Thanks to Michael U. for that one!

* posted by me at 2:28 AM

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2002-07-30 
 

island dreams redux

So, (being a big geek) until this past weekend, I kept thinking that St. Barts was some island in the Florida Keys...um...NOT! I'll be needing my passport to get there since it's part of the French Caribbean. Must say that the upcoming trip has become a bit more alluring after figuring this out.

In keeping with the island theme, G and I purchased some Cabana Boy Rum this past weekend.



Yummy to drink and yummy to look at too!

* posted by me at 12:02 AM

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2002-07-27 
 

ghost in the kitchen

Earlier this week I was home alone because G had promised to help a friend with some computer problems. (My little techie!) It was about 10pm and I was just having one of those vegetative evenings you need every once in a while to decompress from the world outside. Walked into the kitchen to get another glass of water, and as I stood at the sink the room suddenly got very cold and a chill ran up my spine. I looked at the window, which was closed and said,"Oh, hello." This has happened enough to me in the past that I no longer completely freak out, but it's only the second time I've felt it in this apartment.

About a year ago, I was on the phone with Dude and had the same sort of thing happen. Asked Dude to hang on for a moment and said,"You know, this really isn't a good time, I'm very busy right now. Besides G's not home and I certainly can't ask you to stay without talking to him first." (Having dealt with a "spirit" in the bathroom of my last apartment for five years, I'd found that talking in a straightforward manner is usually the best way to go.) Then I felt bad for just totally blowing him off (definite male energy) and wrapped up the conversation with Dude to try and figure it out. After all, I do believe that we bump into "spirits" instead of it being the other way around. So I grabbed a piece of paper and pen and asked,"Can you tell me your name?" Without really thinking about it, I wrote down Roger. I then politely explained that while I could feel that he was sad, G and I were very busy that month and could he please come back later. He lingered for a while, so I saged the apartment and got stoned. To be honest, I was pretty impressed with my calm state up to that point, and I needed something to take the edge off.

SO, a year later and Roger is back...except, I think the name might actually be Robert (pronounced the French way) This time, I didn't send him away, I just said that he was welcome to visit when I was home alone, but that I'd still have to talk to G about it all. It is his home too after all. That may have been all he needed to hear, because he didn't linger very long, and I don't feel anything when I "reach" out.

For those of you who are curious: I don't generally believe that ghosts are actual people come back. I believe that it has more to do with a living person's ability to pick up emotional wrinkles of the past and that these wrinkles somehow match a particular moment in our present which connects them. (a wormhole in the time/space continuum) As to the ability of a soul to linger on this plane past the point of death, I think that it's really a rare occurrence and often sorts itself out within a short time.

* posted by me at 2:19 PM

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2002-07-25 
 

it's the end of the world as we know it

(well, not really) Interesting article here about an asteroid speeding towards the earth...in 2019. Better keep our eyes open though. In more immediate astronomical news. The Perseid meteor showers are starting up again. Hoping to get up on the roof once or twice with G to see them.

* posted by me at 10:38 PM

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count me in

I'm a freak for survey's and such, so I was quite glad to receive this census from G the other day. It took a bit of time to finish, but was a nice break from work. Besides, gays have more power in the pocketbook than most people realize. Money talks and it's about time we were heard!

* posted by me at 1:13 AM

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2002-07-23 
 

finally

FINALLY saw Star Wars II last night. Worth the wait. I don't know how many people out there will agree with me, but I really liked it. Enough to want to see it again. (Poor G slept through parts of it, so if there's any volunteers...) Much better than the Menace, much more in tune with the originals. In a strange way, it even gave me more of an appreciation of the themes of Jedi, which was never my favorite of the originals. OK, I must confess, I am a sci-fi geek. LOVE this stuff.

Didn't quite love Pearl Harbor, which we watched tonight. The battle scenes were intense (and LOOOONG) which left me feeling drained. Since the lovestory framework that everything sat within fell a bit flat, I was left drained and unsatisfied. As if I'd walked up a large hill while eating cotton candy. Overall pleasant experiences, but not ones that I typically like to have go together.

Did I mention I LOVED Star Wars?

* posted by me at 3:35 AM

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2002-07-21 
 

climb week

Mom's in the news again! This week is the Kili Climb for the Cure. Go Tara!

* posted by me at 5:19 PM

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beer across the bay

G and I went over to the East Bay for a change of scenery this eve. Had gyros in the food court by the Borders in Emeryville and watched the A's win another game. (how butch of us!) Ended up in Jack London Square for some beers in the First and Last Chance Saloon. Great place! The whole inside of the bar tilted at about a 40 degree angle during the 1906 earthquake and they've just left it that way. Makes for an interesting experience when you've got a few beers in you. Hee!

* posted by me at 2:22 AM

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2002-07-19 
 

fried day

Two planes, two cabs and a long walk upstairs with a heavy suitcase, but I'm HOME! So very nice to be back in SF where the cabbie's "very warm day we're having" means it's in the low 70's - a good 40 degrees cooler than where I'd come from in the middle of the desert. So now I'm all about relaxing and getting back to myself with G after a week spent with coworkers. YAY!

* posted by me at 7:52 PM

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2002-07-18 
 

island dreams

After another very long day, the meetings are done. I still have a bit o' work to do on the computer, but it's such a relief to know that it's all over...for now. Interesting news on the work front - they're sending me to St. Barts next month! Finally, a trip that'll give me some extra frequent flyer miles. I told a few coworkers today and they were quite jealous until I reminded them that next month was only August, which means that it'll probably be just as hot a week as the one I just spent here. Beautiful island aside, what do you get to see from your hotel room? (hopefully it'll be the ocean - i love the ocean)

* posted by me at 9:10 PM

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2002-07-17 
 

model behavior

Very long day today. Started at 6:30 and didn't stop until returning to my cool room to catch the last 45 minutes of The Mole. (It's Al folks, I promise.) I've discovered a new sense of freedom in work...something (it's me!) is suddenly letting myself speak freely of how I feel about lots of things and the reactions from those around me has been quite positive. It's as if I've given up carrying the shackles I kept on my hands at work. Which is pretty silly really, especially since I'd cast them off in most other aspects of my life. Imagine my SUPRISE! It feels GOOD. Which sounds like a no-brainer, but it's always hardest to see that which is right under our nose.

Other than this realization, which seems so simple in retrspect, connections keep pouring into my head. A model today - using her bright personality to put our products into their best light - reminded me of my cousin living in LA. I think we'd better touch base soon. Whether for her sake or my own is immaterial. I'm going to try to stop ignoring signs the universe gives me. I've allowed my work personality to invade too many other aspects of my life, and I'm beginning to see that it's only been to my detriment. Thanks to G for being always by my side: when I was miles away in mind and even now when we're separated by the miles. Thanks to Dad for speaking the truth a few weeks back and reminding me that there were other paths to take in life. Thanks to Mom for showing me that just because the universe challenges us, it doesn't mean we need to give up hope. Thanks to DUDE for sharing his new lease on life, which helped me see my own. Thanks to B for journeying with me to the place we were a relatively short time ago, the place I started this most current journey from. And, special thanks to M...and many others...for continuing to believe in me while I took a little detour off of my path of choice, (but especially to M.) And thanks again to G for pushing a certain button, unintentionally perhaps and even though he doesn't know that he did it yet. Here's to our next journey...together!

ONWARD AND UPWARD!

* posted by me at 2:51 AM

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2002-07-16 
 

oasis in the desert

Walking to my first meeting today, I stopped in the morning heat to contemplate my surroundings. Palm trees, green grass, ducks and little enclaves of airdonditioned rooms. All surrounded by imposing mountains and inhabitable desert. Talking to G it struck me that it all really is wonderful...and frightening to be here in this little man made oasis in the middle of desert. Oh what man has wrought in the midst of nothingness! We've taken a piece of the desert and turned it into a place of our dreams.

All that being said...I'd rather be up in Muir Woods. A place where man accepted that which nature provided and melded with it instead of forcing it completely into a new norm, but maybe that's just me.

* posted by me at 1:24 AM

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2002-07-14 
 

hot hot hot

In Palm Springs for the week. It is over a hundred degrees out there - airconditioning is my new best friend. I plan to spend any time that I'm not in an airconditioned meeting room right here in my hotel room, which is quite nice. I keep forgetting that not all hotel rooms have to be teeny tiny like in New York. I have a cathedral ceiling in here even! The plane ride here was cool. Little prop plane from LAX to here which, oddly enough, made me feel like I was living in a different time. I love the small planes. They're hella louder, but they really let you know you're FLYING.

* posted by me at 9:13 PM

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2002-07-13 
 

beer garden

G went over to visit his mum and dad in Sackotomatoes, so I decided to give Keeks a call and we hung out smoking and drinking beer and generally catching up. Never thought I'd be talking sku counts with her...and having fun doing it! Ended up at Lucky 13, a place I haven't been in years. Still as cool as it ever was...only no smoking inside. Gave up fighting the law and opened a little patio garden to the back. Great night to sit under the stars and get a bit blotto.

* posted by me at 2:57 AM

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2002-07-12 
 

cooler

The heat's finally letting up here in the city by the bay. Had Vyvianka and her beau over for a little barbecue before they head on to Boston. Nice time. Learned some interesting facts about transfatty acids and have decided to never buy margarine again. Butter all the way baby!

* posted by me at 2:14 AM

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2002-07-10 
 

balmy eve

Lovely walking weather this evening. Normally, July in San Francisco is a bit winterish with fog and cold winds, but tonight I was able to walk to grab some chinese food wearing my shorts and a light shirt! After 7pm even! For those of you who haven't lived in this city very long, you won't understand just how special that was.

I am officially addicted to the Mole. I didn't even start watching it till after it was halfway done, but it sucked me in none-the-less. I am convinced that Al is the mole.

* posted by me at 2:47 AM

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2002-07-08 
 

i am lady macbeth

So the cold came with a pleasant little case of conjunctivitis which means I've been running to the bathroom constantly to wash my hands so that I won't reinfect myself. (wearing glasses means i'm constantly touching my face around my eyes - ugh) I feel like Lady Macbeth. OUT OUT DAMN PINK EYE!

In other news, fixed a broken link within the postcard pages. Need to update it with fun new cards...HINT HINT!

* posted by me at 10:54 PM

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recovering

Had a quiet 4th. Went on up to Kite Hill with G to watch the fireworks and stood hugging each other for warmth while watching them pop in the distance. Probably shoulda stayed in since I came home to find that the baby cough I'd been nursing all week grew up into a nasty teenager and kicked me in the butt. Ick. I've spent the past few days just laying low and letting my body try and kick back. Felt a bit better last night, which was good since Vivianka is making a stop here in SF before heading on to the old hometown. She's been in China for the past year and we wanted a chance to catch up (and meet her new man!) He's a goodie - bit of a long trip, but sure worth it if she came home with someone like him! Keeping in the visiting theme we had breakfast with Star Girl and her guy. Nice to see them and looking forward to checking out their place next time we get back to Boston. Hope she got a chance to try out Mitchell's before getting on the plane!

All in all a pretty good break from the work-a-day world, in spite of being sick. Especially since I've spent the whole time with G who can make me smile in the midst of a coughing fit. More than noodles!

* posted by me at 2:05 AM

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2002-07-03 
 

love and other strange searches

So it's the day before a loooong weekend here at work. Not that I don't have a thousand things I could be doing, but a good 3/4s of my department is off today and I feel I'm doing my part just being here in case of an emergency. What exactly would a fashion emergency consist of? "Oh no! I've spilled soy sauce on my Prada shoes!"

Anyway, being the egomaniac that I am, I decided to do a few searches to see if my site exists out there and I'm happy to report that both Google and Yahoo pop my site to the top of the list when you search for: stuck up shoe whore. Not sure why this pleases me so much, but it does. Don't worry, I won't get too much of a swelled head - MSN, Altavista, Excite and many others don't even have this site in their systems. Boo hoo.

In other news: saw the last 7 minutes of But I'm a Cheerleader last night and recommend it to all and sundry. A very sarcastic look at the whole idea of the ex-gay movement. A must see for any parent who thinks their child is going through some sort of "phase".

* posted by me at 3:43 PM

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2002-07-02 
 

cheers and boo hoo

So there we are, totally into But I'm a Cheerleader with about 20 minutes of movie left and the DVD stops playing. Some strange skippage thing. HATE that. None-the-less, the movie was quite great and we will be running out to rent it this eve from a brick and mortar store in order to see the ending. Netflix is pretty wonderful, but that was very annoying.

* posted by me at 1:50 PM

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2002-07-01 
 

tres gay


Last year we didn't do much on pride weekend, we were so busy with prepping for the move that it took a back burner. This year, I was determined to do something. I confess, I still want to jump up and down and yell,"We're here, we're queer!" while waving a little rainbow flag. Walked just over the hill last night to see the masses whirling through the Castro below and just grooved on the energy. Saw the pink triangle and searchlights up on Twin Peaks. Lamented the fact that a whole hill stood between me and the organized pandemonium below. Of course, if we still lived over there I'd be bitchin' about the peeps peeing on my doorstep, but I actually miss the ability to watch a whole night of craziness from the relative calm of my apartment window.

Today we started out with a brunch over at a coworkers. After liberal amounts of quiche, mimosas, bloody marys and clever conversation, we headed on over to Civic Center to mingle with a half million other folks enjoying the sun. The way too hot sun. So G and I headed back over to our cool valley and spent the evening relaxing, which gave me a chance to finish Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: a tres gay book dahlings!

* posted by me at 2:54 AM

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