2003-10-30 
 

the rest of it

Back at work and not enjoying it very much, so I'll take the opportunity to turn away from the several hundred e-mails during lunch and blog instead.

Had a great vacation, but it turned out being a bit emotional as well...always is when I'm visiting family and friends who I don't get to see often enough.

Things we got to do that I'm very happy about:

See both M and K's new places and actually meet the mysterious Marco.

See Dude and T's new place, which is very envy inducing.

Had a very nice brunch with the family organized by Dad which allowed us to see some folks we would have otherwise missed. (thanks!)

Had a very drunk night with Dude and T during which we sang Christmas carols and grooved to a variety of other fun tunes. Though my memories of the night are somewhat blurred, they are some of my favorites from the vaca.

Spent some final hours down at Maalox Manor. I didn't really need to go inside to say goodbye, but I sure won't regret making the trip once the place is no longer part of the family.

Managed to get in a game of Candy Land with e and stayed up talking with M until the early hours of the morning. Wish it could've been longer!

G and I had very smooth trips to the airport both coming and going. Yay us!

Things I missed:

Getting to see TnT.
Getting to see BG.
Getting to see J and C.
Getting to see MJ.
Getting to see....etc.

But I need to get over it. I'm only one person and it's supposed to be a vacation for both myself and G. If I'd tried to squish anything else in, the stress levels would've shot through the roof and I'd be getting none of the relax time I needed. (Seeing what I've come back to here in the newly reorganized company, I'm thinking I'll need a solid couple weeks reading trash novels on some Hawaiian beach to truly leave the stress behind.)

Labels: dose of mikey, g, looking eastward, travel

* posted by me at 3:13 PM

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2003-10-24 
 

foliage

So today we saw Armistead Maupin at the Randolph Country Club...at least it very much looked like him, but did I bother to find out for sure? No. That weird self censor that gives me a hard time speaking in public for fear of saying something inappropriate and stops me from talking too loudly in public places turned itself on with a vengeance. I could barely look over at him.

The man, whoever he was, kept looking over my way. I had a perfect opportunity to potentially meet someone I've admired for a long time...or at least have a funny cocktail story about how we THOUGHT we saw him but it was just some random guy cruising us. But I blew it. I'm still kicking myself, but trying to remember that every experience is a lesson and hoping that next time I won't let my superego rule my life.

In other news, we've had a historical couple of days. Spent yesterday doing the Adams tour and learning some interesting things about our early presidents. I'd taken the tour tour many years ago, but had forgotten what a wonderful place that their library is. If I had the money, I'd be building myself something similar.

Today, pre Maupin sighting, we toured through Lexington's National Heritage Museum. A bit of an extravagant name for a place with just a few exhibits, but it was still worth the trip. I loved the exhibit that juxtaposed original New England products with their contemporary counterparts. Weird to see colonial shoes made in Weymouth next to a pair of Reebok sneakers from Indonesia.

Labels: g, linkage, the gay, travel

* posted by me at 6:14 PM

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2003-10-21 
 

memory lane

In New Jersey today visiting with M and little e. She's grown so much since I last saw her in January! M and I spent the evening looking through pictures and watching some old home movies that she's taken of e...especially the ones that included G and myself. It makes me wish we were living closer and could participate a bit more in her day to day life. At the same time it makes me very glad that I got the webcam and that she'll get to have me in her life a bit more solidly during the next year when any move back east looks to be financial suicide.

Also very happy that she's no longer too shy to talk to me on the phone. Did I mention that our first full conversation occured a week ago? It was Monday night as I was on my way home from work. Stressed to the max with everything that was going on with impending layoffs and a doctor appointment that I'd avoided too long, but she took me away from that for a full five minutes or so as we talked about the much more important issue of upcoming Halloween costumes.

I like to think that our first real conversation and this visit are the things that I'll remember when I look back on October of 2003.

Labels: dose of mikey, looking eastward, travel

* posted by me at 1:12 AM

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2003-10-18 
 

pause

Well after a hellish month, it's time to take a little break. I had planned on some time off during the end of October, and even when the layoffs loomed I figured I'd keep to my original schedule. Whatever happened on the job front, I knew that I was going to need some time not thinking about anything too serious. I was right! Looking very forward to the upcoming rest.

Today we're heading over to the East Bay where Mr. Mudd will show us some real estate. (I'm very tired of paying for someone else's mortgage.) I've been talking about it for a while, but found out yesterday that G didn't realize how serious I was and really doesn't think it's a smart move. A bit of a hiccup in our relationship, but we'll figure something out. Right now I'm listening to him read off rental properties since that's what he feels is the most financially sound move for us. It's not my favorite thing to do, but it's a fair trade since he's going to go out househunting with me. Relationships are hard.

ETA: So I'm tagging this in October of 2008 and have to own that G was right. We would've had to move out to the central valley to find something that would've fit in our budget...and our relationship wasn't ready for the big buy. Now the relationship is ready, but the budget is still problematic. That said, things are looking up!

Labels: dose of mikey, g

* posted by me at 3:10 PM

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2003-10-14 
 

still standing

Just a quick note to say I still have a job. That said, it's looking like a true reorg, and I need to wait for the dust to settle before really assessing the situation.

PS I've had a couple comments that the new font size is too tiny on some systems, so I'm going back to the larger size. In other news, webstats is listing countries of origin again. I love knowing that someone in Japan randomly came across the site and stayed for a little visit.

Labels: blogging, dose of mikey, sharketing

* posted by me at 6:30 PM

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waiting

Had a pleasant weekend in Sacremento with G's parents. Ended up taking the train there since Zip (my car) overheated on Friday and needed to go to car hospital. Amtrack may not be as glam as it was back in the day, but it's still a rather nice way to travel.

Tomorrow I have a doc appointment first thing in the morning and then have to rush into work for a 10 am meeting to see whether or not I have a job still in our reorganized company....either one of these events might alter my life, but it's all going to be ok. I've got G as a wonderful constant. Love you Honk!

Labels: dose of mikey, g, local getaway, medical mystery, sharketing

* posted by me at 1:15 AM

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2003-10-11 
 

i can see clearly now

Just watched a movie called in some countries Advertising Rules, but it's original German title is Victor Vogel, Commercial Man. For someone like myself, working in marketing, it was very true to life and caused me to laugh out loud on a few occasions. Anyone else might find it a rather dull film, but trust me, it's my work life wrapped up in nice shiny wrapping.

One thing it gave me -beyond the intended purpose of showing the truth behind marketing- was the knowledge that our cousins in the EC are just as much a part of the first world as we.

In other news...added another entry to the archives. Mikey visits Warner Robbins.

Labels: dose of mikey, linkage, memory lane

* posted by me at 1:16 AM

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2003-10-09 
 

it's not a too-mah

It's just Ah-nold. Our new governor. Gotta just hope for the best on this one. After all, no one's really sure where he stands on the issues. We may end up being pleasantly surprised while the Repubs may be dismayed. Yup, that's me...always looking for the rainbow in the middle of a hurricane.

Labels: dose of mikey, politics

* posted by me at 1:15 AM

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2003-10-07 
 

odd voting

I love voting....especially in San Francisco. Sure, I loved voting back in Massachusetts because I'm someone who believes that some days it just takes one voice can to save a whole world. (Horton Hears a Who is still one of my favorite books.)

People in the Bay Area do tend to view voting as something fun to do rather than facing it as a chore. I will admit that I may have a skewed view of this because of my own experiences. The polling place I went to for my first five years in the city was actually just the coffee shop down the block. Close to home, easy to get to...and just how sad can you be with coffee and pastries available in the same location as your ballot?

My new polling place is a garage. Not a park-a-bunch-of-cars garage, but a single family garage in a cute Victorian around the corner from our apartment. It's very neighborhoody and cozy going in there to vote, and everyone is in a pretty good mood. (no lines at all) Does this happen in other places, or am I just lucky to live in SF?

By the way, I know I haven't soapboxed about the California governor thing and it's because I hadn't really made up my mind. To be honest, back in the beginning, there was a small part of me that wanted to vote for Arnold. It's the part that saw one or another of his movies and said, "Yah, that's the kind of guy we need in government." Fortunately, about five minutes later I remembered Ronald Reagan and stopped the insanity. "AIDS? What's that? Let's ignore it. After all, it's only the fags who have to worry about it and the less of them the better." <----- Okay, I'm paraphrasing what he might have said had the man ever bothered to address the issue. And I know that there's hope that Ah-nold will be a more moderate republican, but the truth is that I just don't know. He has no real political history to show what he may or may not be in favor of and it seems like a sucker bet either way. He can say what he will, but he won't be able to fulfill his campaign promise to bring down our deficit without breaking some of his other promises.

SO you're wondering what I ended up doing? I voted against the whole silly affair. While the prospect of voting for one of the many choices was exciting and I have no great love for Mr. Davis, I still feel he got the fuzzy end of the lollipop on this one. As my dear, departed Uncle Charles used to mutter when faced with the latest tabloid headline in the supermarket checkout,"Bread and circuses...bread and circuses. They're trying to distract us kiddo!"

Labels: dose of mikey, san francisco

* posted by me at 11:20 PM

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2003-10-05 
 

walking on sunshine

I've been feeling a little old lately. The wrinkles in my forehead are a bit deeper than I want them to be. I worry about occupation and health and wonder about whether I ought to be buying property as a solid investment and settling myself down. So today, it was fun to be 20something again.

G and I walked down to the Castro Street Fair and wandered around, sipping on beer and generally not caring about anything except how to navigate through the crowd and stopping occasionally to check out some of the cuter specimens on parade. Ended up splitting a rice krispy treat that we bought from a young entrepreneur who was wandering around with an REI backpack cooler and suddenly I WAS 25 again.

Interesting that. I've recently gotten the September 95 archives up and running and will be filling in new entries as I get to them. It's strange to type in my thoughts and feelings from almost a decade back and look at them in the light of the 21st century. OK, that's a messy metaphor, but the point is that there's something nice in both reliving the past and reviewing it, though they're very different things.

OK, I think I'm still feeling the treat so it's all good. I'm off to enjoy the rest of the day.

Labels: blogging, dose of mikey, g

* posted by me at 9:24 PM

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2003-10-04 
 

Hey! I did something about it! Still not sure about the acid trip topper though...

Labels: blogging

* posted by me at 2:51 PM

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meanwhile

I am so not happy with the way the site looks right now, but just don't have the gumption to do much about it at the moment.

Labels: blogging

* posted by me at 12:34 PM

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shell fish

It's been a harsh week. Announcements about who's going and who's staying at work won't be made until the week after next and the stress is getting to everyone, meanwhile we're supposed to go on doing our jobs as if everything were normal. I can usually put on a happy face at work even when I'm down, but this week I really lost the motivation. Meanwhile, the fact that I could be laid off is putting me into a general space of insecurity that I'm magnifying in my life around me. I try to keep up the happy act, but things with G are being strained too.

I know he loves me, but I am letting the insecurity get to me and want to be reassured constantly that everything's ok between us. (which it is...other than my being a needy bastard these days....and a general downer every night I get home) I'm in a space where I want a lot of hugs and it's not easy to hug a crank meister, so his week's been strained as well. The thing is that I am also a selfish guy who feels that what I'm going through is the most important thing in the world, so I expect everyone around me to adapt to my needs. This is a truth about myself in general and honestly something that I'm not displeased with, it's gotten me to a place where I can be there for other people without letting myself get too run down. However, in situations where I'm being needy, it does tend to make me angry at those around me for not understanding that my feelings are paramount and that they can't be worrying about their own needs when mine aren't getting met. I know this is ridiculous and end up pushing everyone away in an attempt to stop the madness, reaching out very rarely to connect with friends etc. Being in a relationship makes this HARD. (Hug me! Leave me alone! Hug me! Leave me alone!) G must feel like a top spinning around.

At the same time, I'm wishing he could be more understanding of the fact that I'm going through a really rough patch and just ignore the insanity.

Labels: dose of mikey, sharketing

* posted by me at 12:20 PM

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