2005-02-26 
 

ass-o-mine

Gonna warn you up front that this entry is probably TMI for most folks, so maybe you ought to scroll on past or just check out one of the links to the left.

Went to the colon-rectal specialist today. (Heard enough? Turn back now or read on...you voyeuristic freak!) First off, the doctor is a very nice guy with kind doe eyes, and he managed to put me a bit at ease during our initial interview. That aside, it only takes a few minutes of waiting alone in the examining room to get the heart back up into overdrive. The staff leaves a variety of puzzling metallic instruments laying about in preparedness for whatever might ail you down below, and these things look like they'd be more at home in a medieval torture chamber than in a modern doctor's office. Rather large plunger devices that splay open at the touch of a button, various electronic probes, and very oddly shaped tubes to do...I don't want to know what with. Needless to say when the doctor and his assistant perform the procedure my back is to them, but my vivid imagination doesn't help very much at that point. I have to just lie still breathing deeply and repeating, "This too shall pass."

The end result - no pun intended - is that I get to go in for a full colonoscopy in a few weeks. When Mr. Doctor first told me this fun fact, I must've looked like a bunny in the headlights because he quickly let me know that I'd be fully sedated during that whole procedure. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that there were tears of relief in my eyes when I said thank you to him for passing on that information.

Labels: medical mystery

* posted by me at 1:37 AM

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