2005-12-26 
 

merry

Had a pretty wonderful long weekend, just me and G and a Christmas tree.

Noticed a lot of unrest during the preceeding holiday season. Folks upset about the commercialism and obligation of the holidays. I have to admit, I just don’t get it.

Okay. I understand that the holiday has transitioned over many years from a day of purely religious significance to a Vegaslike Extravaganza with bells and whistles and too many lights….but that’s just what they’re selling. You don’t have to buy it.

Christmas for me is still about remembering that peace should be our ultimate goal, spending time around a decorated tree with the family…oh and that guy who walked around 2000 years ago suggesting we all be a bit nicer to each other. Not his followers or those that came to interpret his words afterwords. Just him and a message of peace.

I moved out to SF before my extended family imploded,and in many ways I’m lucky for that. Going back for the holidays after the family tree trunk had been split was a bit more stressful than I would’ve liked with the new scheduling challenges, but I didn’t get to see any of them very often so it wasn’t very different than visiting during the non-holiday season.

It's also true that these days Christmas leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth, but that’s because my faith in eventual peace for this planet is a lot less solid than when I was a child. Somehow, back then, it was easy to believe that the crowd of people standing around me and singing Silent Night while holding slowly dripping candles truly believed in the underlying message of hope and joy. I guess I’m lucky that my family kept focused on that side of things instead of concentrating on the gifting and RECIEVING.

I’ve since been introduced to cynicism and keeping up with the Joneses. Slowly I came to realize that not every one who complained about the season was truly a Grinch or a Scrooge. They were overcome with the stress of trying to see everyone all in one day so that no one felt slighted….and some people assumed an OBLIGATION to give gifts. That’s not fun! I like giving gifts. I wish I had more money to do it with, but I somehow avoid the feeling of guilt if all I can do is send someone a card. Like I mention above, my parents always made it very clear that Christmas meant hope, love and joy. That it really wasn’t about the presents at all. That lesson stuck.

Now it’s true, my adult self recognizes that sometimes a Grinch’s heart will stay just the same size, and that Scrooges have been known to die miserly and alone. In a twisted way these facts make my clinging to hope more relevant. These people need the rest of us to keep believing that change can happen, they need to see the rest of us acting a bit nicer to each other if we’re ever going to convince them that there’s another way to be.

Sure it should last all year through and many people do try to remember that. But if for some it’s only about a month each year where they try a bit harder to be kind to one another amidst the flashing neon signs selling sales, I’ll take it. Maybe it’s some of them we ought to be helping. Help them let go of what they think Christmas needs to be.

What it boils down to is that the holiday is what you make of it. I happen to like Christmas trees, with simple lights and handmade decorations. So that’s what we do. G likes cutting down our own tree. So we do that too. I’d never cut one down before meeting him, but it’s tradition now, because we decreed it as such. It’s that easy. If you don’t like Christmas traditions…or Hanukah, Kwanza or Solstice traditions for that matter, change them into something more relevant to you and your world. The message this time of year, as much as any other, should be one of hope for what could be and joy for that which we already have.

Remember your power to decree your own traditions. If you decide that Christmas ought to be about expressing your artistic side through a house covered in lights, go for it. If you decide it’s only about calling out to a few special folks, then forgo the gifts, cards and trees, it’s really okay. Even if you decide it’s about nothing at all, that’s your choice too.

Just don’t ever tell me that my Christmas is wrong because it differs from your ideas of what it should be and tends to be inclusive instead of exclusive. There’s a little kid in me still hoping for peace and I’d like to keep him alive as long as possible.

Merry holidays everyone!

Labels: dose of mikey, g, writing

* posted by me at 4:11 PM

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