2005-09-28 
 

sunny g

G had a doctors appointment today. Everything's fine. (In fact everything's great. His viral load is undetectable and his T cells are still nice and high.)

G mentioned something to the doctor about how thankful he was to have been under his care for the past 15 years and the doctor gave it right back. Thanked G for being a good patient and willing to participate in any number of surveys and test trials over the years. Mentioned how G always made it in and never complained about the gallons of blood they needed to take away. How he always had a good attitude and that, basically, he helped save lives.

G would never mention any of this to you because he has a hard time believing that anyone else would've done it differently. I'm a bit more jaded than that. Sometimes I'm so proud to know him and so happy that he's mine that I could burst! (Which would be messy and quite unpleasant, so I figured I'd blog about it instead.)

Labels: dose of mikey, g, shout out

* posted by me at 10:29 PM

(1) comments



2005-09-25 
 

good and bad

Got some good news and some bad news last week that forced me to deal with the guy inside instead of concentrating on the very real problems facing our country this week. (Not that I usually blog politics or current events, but between hurricanes, the delicate dance of the supreme court, and the recent reversals of the Gubenator I've almost felt an obligation to rage against it all.)

Instead I will be selfish and shout, "Why me?" The good news is that the foot pain I've been having wasn't caused by a misstep on my part at the gym. It's an arthritic symptom that pretty much validates the Doctors' diagnosis of Reactive Arthritis. The bad news is that the diagnosis of Reactive Arthritis has been validated.

I'll live and I'll deal, but I can tell you I got very drunk Thursday night after finding out. Partially in celebration of the confirmation and partially out of denial.

Labels: dose of mikey, medical mystery

* posted by me at 3:47 PM

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2005-09-21 
 

alternating currents

In some not-so-strange alternate reality (out in whatever direction alternate realities lay) there is a me, quite similar to the me you know and love, who registered a different blog name 4 1/2 years ago.

Speaking of Pavilions

Does his writing skew a bit differently? It's hard to tell. My eyes don't see very well when reading in that direction.

In the universe next door to him lies the domain of magicalmike.com, a happy place that hides dark secrets between lines of eloquent text.

Further off, the picture is even fuzzier, but
Too Many Parentheses, Stephan's Corner
and Altering Reality are all pretty likely.

Someday I'd like to read them all.

Labels: blogging, dose of mikey, g

* posted by me at 10:25 PM

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2005-09-20 
 

flying high

Have you ever noticed that people will readily own up that they watched a movie that doesn't fit into their normally viewed genres when they can qualify it with the fact that they were on an airplane at the time?

I caught myself doing this today. Yes, I watched New York Minute…but I was on a plane.

Translation: Yes I watched this total teen chick flick that was basically a mediocre mishmosh of several stories we've all heard before...but don’t question my masculinity or sense of good taste. After all, I was on a plane at the time and they forced me into it!

As if the flight attendants came around with Clockwork Orange type devices to keep us all focused on the little screens that descend from the ceiling.

Labels: dose of mikey, linkage, random review

* posted by me at 10:40 PM

(4) comments


 

overheard

I passed by two men in standard-issue business attire last week during a mad dash for Muni. It wasn't until I was on the train that my brain fully processed the snippet of conversation I'd just overheard.

I can't go tonight, I have to get my penis repierced.

Ah life in the big city...so many obligations and so little time!

Labels: san francisco, seen and heard

* posted by me at 2:47 AM

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2005-09-16 
 

3 scary lists of 5

It's been a long week with extra long workdays, but that's no fun to write about, so I'll turn instead to several lists I've been writing in my head this week.

5 Things That No Longer Scare Me

1. Hailing taxis. (Figured I'd start out with one of the oddest. This used to freak me out for some reason.)

2. Death. (Mind you, I'm in no hurry, but being scared of it seems pretty silly now. How else would I find out what's going to happen in Mikey, the sequel?)

3. Admitting that I'm gay.

4. Drag Queens. (I'm sure this particular fear was linked to #3. Since then I've realized that while Drag powers often include SuperGaydar, it's rarely used against scared twinks.) Hee hee! That comment caused a random memory montage...sometimes I miss being a twink!

5. Putting my thoughts out for the world to read...and possibly misinterpret.


5 Things That Still Scare Me

1. Open closets in dark rooms.

2. Creepy Crawlies with lots of legs.

3. Ominously quiet sunny days.

4. Not being able to breath.

5. Skydiving. (I've done it, but the thought of doing it again still frightens me. Which means, of course, that I really want to jump again because part of the thrill was facing the fear.)


5 Things That Never Used to Scare Me...But Do Now

1. Wrinkles...on my face.

2. Hair loss...from my head.

3. The fact that my ears and nose will continue to grow...for the rest of my life.

4. Losing my sight completely.

5. Never losing my fear of aging and becoming a freak. (Never realized just how much I was obsessing over it...until just now.)

Labels: memes

* posted by me at 9:07 PM

(0) comments



2005-09-13 
 

true choice

Every once in a while, we're presented with a choice. Sometimes it's an easy one like chicken or steak?, but there are times when the quandary presented becomes much harder to solve.

The other day I overheard a conversation on Muni in which two teens were discussing which sense they'd rather lose, hearing or sight. As is natural in the confines of a Muni car, my mind started to wander and contemplate the question. Which would I rather lose? Instinctively I thought hearing would be missed less. My fear of not being able to see definitely beats out my already not so stellar sense of hearing. I'd miss music and birdsong and all the other things, but I'd miss paintings and books more.

When I stopped and rethought the question, it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't thinking through it properly. The correct answer is that I'd rather lose neither.

The trick with choices is to always realize that there's a NONE OF THE ABOVE option. (Or, in cases of chicken or steak, an ALL OF THE ABOVE option.)

Labels: seen and heard, spirit

* posted by me at 1:01 AM

(0) comments



2005-09-09 
 

gym-DOH-re

I've recently signed up for a membership at 24 Hour Fitness. Hoping that doing cardio a bit more regularly will help destress me. We'll see. I'm not very fond of the whole gym concept because the moment I walk through the doors I become twice as self conscious as I am in a non gym environment...which is to say VERY VERY self conscious.

Trying to think myself out of the feeling, but gyms bring out the awkward and scared teenager I used to be. I tried to get over it a few years back, but even after more than a year as a regular, Scared Boy would jump to the surface during the initial walk through the door. He'd leave after about 10 minutes on the treadmill, but I don't really like having him around.

Need to do it though. Better for me to face Scared Boy now and again than to have G dealing with Cranky Man every day after work.

Labels: dose of mikey

* posted by me at 10:18 PM

(1) comments



2005-09-08 
 

compressed mystery

Showering is usually a time of contemplation for me. The warm water washing away the dust and residue of the preceding day activates a certain corner of my mind that often helps me solve a current question or gives me a chance to sort out my reactions to recent events. At other times, I'll suddenly discover the answer to a question I didn't realize I had.

Yesterday's shower brought about the latter sort of revelation. That being said, this entry is about to become rather technogeeky, so don't read on if that's going to bore you.

Compressed files have always bothered me. Not because I don't love the concept of getting more for less, but because I couldn't quite get my brain around how they worked. Information bits like 1s and 0s certainly couldn't get any smaller...could they? So, as with many other modern miracles like teleportation of atoms and seedless watermelons, I decided to enjoy the benefits and try not to worry about the how.

That's where the shower comes in. Yesterday, somewhere between the initial soaping up and the shampoo, I was randomly hit with the realization that certain longer strings of information could be categorized and represented by shorter strings of information and thus a larger file could be compressed into a smaller one.

Now the maths behind all this is too much for me to figure out. (Read I'm too lazy to sit down and try to figure it out.) So I googled "compressed files" and found this:
Compression software uses complex mathematical equations to scan a file for repeating patterns in the data. It replaces the data with smaller codes that take up less room.

Which brings me to the point of this entry. Long hot showers may not be the best thing for my skin, but they do wonders for my mind.

Labels: dose of mikey, linkage

* posted by me at 12:51 AM

(1) comments



2005-09-05 
 

5 reasons

It's been 4 weeks since I officially quit and I've only cheated three times. To stop future cheats and hopefully to keep myself in the game, I'm listing out the reasons why.

Please note, this is not a plea for help or a request to have conversations about it. (Those stupid commercials about quitting smoking always have the opposite effect on me. I end up craving a cigarette out of pure defiance. Same goes, in general, to conversations about quitting.) I'm making these reasons public more as a coming out about quitting than anything else.

It's not really the physical addiction that is hard for me to leave behind...it is a psychological addiction to the actual act of smoking that I crave. A sign of rebellion against the prevailing status quo, the grounding feeling of holding the cigarette in my hands, the knowledge that I'm not the good boy I imagine everyone expects me to be, the brotherhood of smokers where seeing a pack immediately gives you license to talk to complete strangers...if only to ask for a light. Did I mention that all evidence to the contrary, I still think it makes me look cooler?

So, the reasons are...

1. I reduce my chances of getting lung cancer. Pretty big reason, and probably the one I need to hold on to tightest.

2. The ability to walk up and around San Francisco's hilly landscapes without losing my breath would be wonderful.

3. The knowledge that I've kicked a habit that is very hard to break will be empowering.

4. It'll lower my blood pressure which is borderline high. (For some reason this isn't as paramount as reason number one. Possibly because I believe that my BP is mostly higher due to stresses at work vs. the little sticks I like to hold in my hand.)

5. As much as I understand the rebellion aspect, I also know that seeing it normalized in the adults around me while growing up made it "safe" rebellion. (I guess I'm doing this a bit for e and the other young folk in my life.)

So there you have it.

One final note to those of you who like to say that I have it easy since I really don't smoke more than a few a day. I would remind you that telling me this is not very comforting. (It also just reminds me how easy it is to pull the wool over people's eyes.) Yes, I managed to cut my pack a day habit down to approximately two or three packs a week. Yes that was about six years ago. The point is that until I get it down to no packs a week, I'm still a smoker and to tell me otherwise only encourages me to keep the habit.

Labels: dose of mikey

* posted by me at 11:06 PM

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