2008-05-07 
 

torn

When I moved to SF 12 years ago, it was for a variety of reasons. I wanted better weather. I wanted to go to a place with a more liberal attitude. I wanted to

Most of all, I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually make it on my own. My first job out of college came to me through a connection from my Dad. My first apartment out was actually owned by my Dad. My first car was given to me by my parents. Sure, I payed most of it back to them over time, but the schedule was erratic and they never hounded me for it.

California was truly a chance for me to get out there and be the best Michael Tyler Moore that I could be.

Now I'm home and I'm having trouble accepting that help from Dad. Connections come through to me via him or friends of his and I balk at following through. I'm not really sure why. I figure part of it is that part of me that's realized how much I hate the land of Corporate America that lies at the end of those connections. Part of it is that I want to prove that I can still stand on my own two feet. Another part, no less small, is the joy I've had over the past 6 months getting to spend so much time with Greg. I can't kid myself that we'll have too many happy retirement years together. I can hope, but giving most of my energy to a job and giving him just what's left over doesn't seem to make sense if I'm going to spend my golden years without him.

I also moved back for more time with Mom and for the chance for Greg and I to have a house of our own. The former I've been able to get quite a bit of while living here under the parental roof, but the latter won't become reality until I buckle down and get some income.

I've said it before, being an adult sucks.

Labels: dose of mikey

* posted by me at 1:29 PM

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