So due to one thing and another, I ended up getting an iPhone. I originally wanted a new smart phone of the pc variety, but couldn't justify the cost when the old generation iPhones were selling for so much cheaper. Still, I was a bit hesitant, and even told the Apple associate that, "I'm a pc.". He leaned in and whispered that I should be careful because the iPhone was a gateway drug into the world of Apple. Know what? I don't think he was joking.
Taking an "in your face" approach, PepsiCo sent a public message of support for the homosexual agenda. The company ran a full-page ad in the June/July issue of Out, a semi-pornographic homosexual magazine. The magazine is filled with page after page of nude and semi-nude photographs of men in suggestive positions.
First I raced home to see what the fuss was all about and found...no nudes. Bummer.
Being summer, there was a swimsuit fashion spread that featured men in swimsuits. Hmmmm...in a fashion mag. Really? Seriously though, using their criteria, any fashion magazine on the racks at your local drugstore qualifies as semi-pornographic. Oh, except it's usually women in those suggestive, semi-nude positions, so maybe that makes it okay?
Even if the AFA were to agree that all fashion mags are semi-pornographic, which they might, I've never been alerted by them about the various companies that promote themselves in Cosmo....or Elle, or Esquire for that matter. I keep an eye on AFA materials to see just what sort of lies they're spreading, and couldn't let this one go without a comment. Once again they are trying to punish a company for a willingness to believe that life should be about love and honesty and not about outdated social mores; and they're using outright lies to try and push their point.
I'm usually a Coca-Cola type of guy, but this is one time when the Cola war needs my support on the other side, so I'm shouting it here from my little corner of the internet soapbox: I am a very out and proud member of the Pepsi generation.
I officially opened my company today. Went down to the town hall, filled in the paperwork, paid 30 dollars and took an oath. Yes, they asked me to raise my right hand and swear that all the information I was submitting was true to the best of my knowledge. Kinda old school, but I enjoyed it immensely. So now I'm president, treasurer and janitor of my very own business!
What this means to those of you not on FB is that I have been liberated from my temp company and am now working as an independent contractor. Basically, the company I'm working for decided they wanted to pay me directly instead of the temp company, so they gave them the finder's fee and I'm invoicing them directly. From my business. I'd tell you the name, but I'd rather not have that particular bit of information link back to this particular blog. I'm still pretending that it's semi-anonymous...even though my name's all over it.
I'm extra happy it all happened today. After all, 2+2+5=9, so it all adds up.
Having a job is great for the wallet, but it's slowed down my blogging quite a bit. Looking at the beginning of October, I barely missed a day...now it's back to just once or twice a week.
Second day went very well, but supercala-FRAK. Took me an hour and a half to get home. That's an hour more than it should take to travel that route and a half hour longer than it would've taken had I gone along the back roads. Stupid Boston traffic. We'll have to take this all into consideration when we look for potential areas to live in.
Good first day. Not sure what part of today was the "interview" part. The folks I trained with acted as if it were a fact that I'd be staying on at least through next week from the moment I walked in the door, so I felt immediately relaxed. (the whole working interview thing had me a bit stressed, but perhaps it was the temp company screwing with my head because I dared to ask for more?)
In truth, I'm finding that this position is pretty much just a small part of what I used to at the Iconic American Brand (IAB) in San Francisco, only with more copywriting and proofreading thrown in. That is to say, it's what I've been hoping for. So far. Ask me again in a few weeks and I might be tearing my hair out, but so far most folks seem pretty normal and laid back. Except for the VP of my group who is better than normal, she's HILARIOUS. (in a deadpan way and with whom I immediately bonded thanks to her dry sense of humor and my general "less is more" approach to creative)
As I did with the IAB I'll keep comments about the company itself to a minimum on the blog, but I will say that the daily commute in Boston traffic might strain me a bit. It's 30 minutes from door to door...without the aforementioned traffic. It was 55 minutes this morning and then 45 minutes this evening. Where is my Jetsonmobile(TM) to take me there? The way I figure it, going there directly via air vs. having to deal with the loopy routes and traffic on ground would take about 15-20 minutes at 55MPH. Given that the standard Jetsonmobile(TM)has an average flight speed of 100MPH, I could be there in 10 minutes!
Well, they came back at me with a higher wage offer. Not as much as I asked for but pretty much inbetween...so that's okay.
Now I have to do the working interview. This means going to work tomorrow and proving to all and sundry that I'm the right person for the job. If I do well, I'm employed pretty much through December...if not then it's back to square one. Either way, I'll get paid for tomorrow and that's a good thing as the credit card bill is due soon. Ugh. Why won't the government bail me out?
I am not a big fan of salary negotiations. Add an intemediary temp company into the mix and I like them even less.
Had a really good interview today for a job I'd be very good at and in a company that seems to be a great fit...but the temp company is lo balling me and hitting me with the minimum hourly rate that I gave them a few months back. I know they can pull up my files and see...Mike will not work for less than X, and they just hit me with it. Well, the job is worth more than X, but it's currently a 3 month assignment with an option at the end for the company I'd be working for to renew...if the economy doesn't crash too hard, and the candidate proves suitable. Believe me, I'll prove very suitable and they won't want to let me go. I could feel it already.
So, how hard do I let the temp company screw me in the interim? I do get the benefit of a foot in the door, a rather good dot on my resume and steady income for the next quarter. That said, if I accept their rate, I also hurt myself as I move towards the uncertain future and with the company I'm going to be working for.
Bottom line: after the interview proved to me that the rate offered wasn't commesurate with the job description, I asked the temp company for more and now I'm playing the waiting game. Since the end company wants me to start on Thursday, it should hopefully be a shortish wait, but as of now we're already pushing into tomorrow. Ugh.
I know posts have been lacking lately, but instead of an update on my not so exciting life allow me to divert you with this dated commercial.
This goes to show that the good old days kinda weren't...unless you're the guy with a subservient wife and girls at the office who know how to work a hotplate.
It's interesting to note that this is the SECOND Folger's commercial I've posted on my blog. Someone on their internet marketing team deserves a raise.
We have been invaded. Over the past few weeks G and I have noticed ladybugs popping up all over down in the basement. Just one or two a day crawling up a lampshade or along the rug at our feet. We sometimes just leave them when on a safe surface, but often decide to gently scoop them onto a piece of paper...especially if they're on the floor. A short walk over to the storage room where they can crawl around to their heart's content.
Do lady bugs have hearts? A quick google revealed that the Swiss name for them is Lord God's Little Fatty, but not much about their interior anatomy.
I don't want to give the impression that there's been a swarm of them crawling over us. Just that there's been a steady flow of them recently and we do everything in our power to keep them alive.
Now, the ladybug is a member of the insect family. So are ants. G and I have seen several ants down in the basement as well. Probably a total of five or six in the entire time we've been down there. We've squashed every last one of them.
The moral of this story? There is such a think as bad publicity, and a good brand image needs the proper packaging in order to thrive.
Just realized that it's been over a week since I've posted anything. I'm sure you're all just giddy with anticipation, but there's just not much to tell.
Been spending a lot of time with the family and a little time job searching. Several prospects right now, but since I keep this blog vauge when typing about the work side of my life, I won't mention where.
Heading over to the Thanksgiving dinner shortly. Mr. Gobble will not have died in vain.
We interupt this travelblog for a brief note about brand building.
We stayed in a Comfort Inn last night for the first time. I do have a certain level of expectation when staying in a place with a price point about 10 dollars more than the lower rate numbered motels (Motel 6/Super 8). I was dissatisfied.
The room was out of date, still using the heavy comforters that all good travelers know carry more germs than the toilet seat. (even the cut rate motel in southern Montana with the naugahyde chairs had replaced theirs with a thin, easy to pull off and hide in the corner version-intentional or not, we appreciated it) All in all though it wasn't the worst hotel. The customer service made up for in joviality what it lacked in professionalism, and the cable selection was one of the better ones we've seen. If it wasn't for the bathroom, I'd be blogging about our drive across Minnesota, the state that's fun to say.
Now, I'm willing to acknowledge that I've got semi high standards for any bathroom. Many folk may find a toilet seat with the finish worn off delightfully rustic, but I'm not one of them. The worst bit was the shower. After no more than 30 seconds it began to back up. The super low wattage lighting did nothing to hide the fact that this back up contained about half a head of hair left behind by some prior tenant. Enough said.
I tried to mention this to the staff upon check out, but they were a bit busy playing around and I got no more than a nod and a, "That happens sometimes."
So the lesson for the day is that for a first time consumer, your brand is only as strong as its weakest touchpoint.
Your regularly scheduled travelblog will continue tomorrow from Wisconsin Dell, WI.
So, Monday is my last day after all. They've decided that they'd rather bump my assistant up and post her position than post mine. (I did my job of training her too well!) Seriously though, I'm pretty proud that she's going to step up. I did recommend it when I first talked about leaving back in August.
I'm sad that I'll no longer see certain coworkers on a regular basis, but overall I'm breathing a sigh of relief. It's definately time for a change, and this also means I can actually relax on the trip across country instead of having to check in a few times a day. (and be working on spreadsheets while G drives through beautiful scenery)
I can't deny that it's a bit of a stressor to have one of the safety nets pulled away, but there's still a few down below us so I won't fret too much.
Is that the sound I'll make? Do people really emit a loud near popping sound when they go over the edge?
Seriously. I'll be fine tomorrow. Heck, I'll be fine later tonight after a little typing and a large glass of wine have helped me to decompress. Besides, all may yet be very well.
My last day at work may, or may not be on Monday should they decide to keep me on for a bit as a remote worker. I'm honestly able to see the good of both sides, so I'll be fine with whatever the decision is, but this possibility has been out there for weeks now and not a peep from the birds in power. Now, according to the must-be-obeyed HR calendar, tomorrow is the final day to submit my termination paperwork if Monday is actually going to be my last day. I could march on in and point this out to the powers that be. I'd finally know one way or the other.
But maybe that's bad politics. As much as HR wants us all to believe that the calendar is sacrosanct, I remember too well my years as an admin and the truth is that with a company the size of ours there's always loopholes and special measures that can be taken. Sure, some poor admin has to jump through the loopholes, but I know that's not a thought that bothers most people giving the commands. To be honest, I remember even having a bit of pride in myself when I got through several hoops in a day without tripping up. But you're not here for a history lesson.
Ugh. Anyone got the capital to open up a corner bookstore? (And by capital I mean extra money they don't mind throwing away since corner bookstores are fast becoming extinct?) Or better yet, want to be my patron?
It seems that no blog is complete without one of these lists laying around somewhere. I'm going to be kind and give it a page of it's own so that you can feel free to ignore it if you wish. Also, please note that the page this links to has been available since March. I just now realized that the entry announcing it never got published. That said it, I reread it today and it's still all true.
Been in photoshoot prep hell for the past few weeks. Much easier process than it was in past years thanks to having an assitant manager. This means that I no longer have to pull 3-4 weeks of 12 hour days in order to get everything together, but it's still pretty hectic.
Talked about leaving with my manager. While, like any boss, he has seemed a bit crazy at times, he has also taught me much of what I know about how business works and has always been there for me over the years. He's offered to help me find interim jobs within the company if needed which is ultracool and a bit of a weight lifted from the moving scales that I've been trying to keep balanced.
Which brings me to the big day. Moving truck is tentatively scheduled to pick our stuff up on October 11th. We'll then spend a night in our empty apartment and then head east to Roseville for a last minute visit with G's parents and then northeast to Idaho to see Craters of the Moon. Then, if he isn't too busy playing golf, we'll head to Lincoln, Montanna for a quick hello to Uncle B.
I've always wanted to see Mt. Rushmore and that's on the way, so why not. Also hoping to stop in Wisconnsin to try some cheese. Please don't tell the California Cows as they're already quite sad about our departure.
In between now and then there's friends to have dinners with a wedding to attend and the aforementinoed photoshoot to manage. This always sounds glamourous because people think of this borderline NSFW image. But really it's a lot of this and this.
So, with my last day at work just a month away I feel more comfortable breaking the cone of silence.
Yes, I'm planning on October 1st as my last day...and it'll be a vacation day to boot! I had originally thought of giving the 28th of September as a last day, but October 1st will extend my health insurance for the full month. Of course, other things could happen in between, but we can't talk about that yet.
Regular visitors will also notice that I'm allowing Google Ads up above. Honestly, I love the PBS nature of an ad free site, but they seem unobtrusive and it's a bit of an experiment. I'd like to see if it "helps" the site climb up higher on random search results.
I'm also curious what ort of ads it'll generate. The most popular search words that lead to this site are:
MARGOT TENENBAUM PRIDE FLAGS LOVE PEACE DRUGS and, oddly enough, INLAND
Well, I guess Margot Tenenbaum's an odd term to lead folks here as well since I've only mentioned her in one entry ages ago, but I can't imagine many sites that mention her, so I guess it makes sense that mine pops up pretty often in search results....
I stand corrected. I just googled "Margot Tenenbaum" and people are WAY obsessed with that movie. This site isn't even in the top ten pages of search results. Folks must be really into her if they're digging down past ten pages and still clicking through to see what's at the other end!
But I digress, the point is that I'll find it interesting to see what sort of companies those various popular search terms will hook up to. (and I can't pretend that I'm unaware of the fact that this entry itself should bump me up the Margot Tenenbaum ladder)
Oh, I also decided to install the blogger bar up at the top of the page. More because of the search function than anything else. I never got around to tagging the first 300 entries so it'll be helpful when I want to surf the archives.
Lastly, a special note to DUDE. As I powered through my stats pages looking for popular search terms, I noticed that this postcard page averages about 15-20 hits a month. Given that it's buried pretty deep, that's impressive. Also, markart does about the same. You should send me more jpgs and I'll post 'em.
I found the below quiz via POC's blog. Now I'll warn you that this is advertainment, but it's beautifully done. It's also for a trilogy I have not yet read, but which I've just ordered from Barne's and Noble. So, in a way, the advertainment worked on me.
Whether you choose to be sucked in or not, take a look at the match below. I'm VERY curious whether or not the people who actually come her and know me believe the statements to be true, so I've left it unlocked. If you have an extra minute or two, please click and tell whether you agree that I'm modest, shy, assertive, etc.
While I think some of it is true, there's an issue. Like many tests of this nature, I second guessed every question. For instance, when the quiz asked if I believed in FATE I had to contend with the fact that I do believe certain events are slated to happen. That said, I also believe that we have the power to change our interpretations and involvement in those events. In some cases, I believe that extraordinary individuals can cancel the events out alltogether. In retrospect should I have said solidly that I believe in fate? or was my neutral answer more accurate to my belief that we can effect change? (and I do mean effect, not affect there)
The one question I know the answer was 100% true to was the one that inquired whether or not I asked a lot of questions: I strongly agreed that I did. Anyway, the quiz will lock itself in twelve days. I'm curious to see what shifts occur during that time as the 10s of you out there let me know what YOU think I am.
They've just renamed my department at work. Can't tell you to what because of my rules. That is, I can tell individual yous out there one at a time, but not the grand unknown you who may be reading this because you are thinking of hiring me and are doing the typical internet check. See? I'm a good boy, I don't blog about work other than in oblique ways. You want to hire me, yes you do! After all, I can use oblique in a sentence! I can copyright on the side...and edit stuff too! (Just so you know, I'm aware that I omitted the technically required multiple hyphens up above...in the interest of keeping things pretty...we are in Marketing after all)
Anyway, they changed the name of my department and it ROCKS. Will look very impressive on the aforementioned resume.
And Dad, if you're reading this, I just got your message and I love you too. Let's catch up this weekend.
So these products still taste as good (or as bad) as they ever have, but would we rush out to buy them if they weren't lacquered up by highly paid food stylists?
There's a lot to be said for my current job, but the thing that ties me most tightly to it is the flexible schedule. Not many jobs would allow me to be sitting here at home on a Friday afternoon relaxing. Instead, I'd be watching the clock tick away slowly to five o'clock.
I can only hope that wherever my next step takes me will have equal flexibility.
So, this is crunch week at work. Makes the other busy weeks seem like idle days. Okay, I probably say this at least 10 times a year, but this time it's REAL.
We're putting together our...well, the posters and signs I help make, it's the guides that show all of them. Each with it's own many digit order number.
Yes, the images are of easy-on-the-eye models, but after a while they all start melting together in my mind. A mass of molten models mingling maniacally in my mind.
So, over the past months, I've been slowly going through all my old entries and tagging them with an appropriate label. Came to this one here in which I puzzle over an odd decision I had made, and realized that my not going on the trip was just another example of why I should always follow my instincts.
See, the boondoggle of a trip turned out to be a big bad mess that's still talked about as one of the worst ever. I narrowly escaped.
If an infinite number of monkeys sit in an infinite number of cubes, one of them will eventually produce a TPS report with the correct new cover sheet.
Today, that monkey was almost me. Unfortunately, the new cover sheet was mysteriously replaced with an even newer cover sheet upon my submission of the formerly new sheet. What a load of horse sheet. (Apologies, but torture of this sort makes me rather punny.)
ETA: This is all in code by the way. If I told you what I was really working on, I'd have to kill you.
The title for the day references the odd movements my legs have been making this eve, not the Disney Halloween Movie that aired the other night starring Tia and Tamera.
You see Father, it's been four days since my last cigarette. STUPID carcinogenic sticks, WHY do you enthrall me so?!
The other day, as we watched a TiVoed episode of Ghost Whisperer...No, I'm not a 15 year old female, why would you ask that? Shut up. It is true that Melinda's husband is required to be shirtless at least once an episode and that he's quite easy on the eyes. Even with this season's new haircut- the one that's trying a bit too hard- he's still worth two drinks.
I'm also a sucker for any supernatural fare that keeps the gore level low. Hence my ready knowledge of Twitches...hmmm...maybe there is an inner 15 year old girl struggling to be heard.
Seriously though, I shouldn't perpetuate that particular stereotype. It would be easy enough to digress at this point into a gender studies discussion about the arbitrary entertainment boundaries set by society. (and those marketers seeking to pigeonhole us all into certain demographics)
Yes, it's true, I have met the enemy and he is me...well not really, isn't the goal for most of us to have more consumers instead of less? That would explain why for every shirtless Jim shot, there's a shot of Melinda in a revealing nighty or lingerie-inspired dress, right? Maybe marketing folk just want us all to get along and like the same things. You know, be equal, homogeneous, safe, boring...oh dear, no matter how you slice it, it's still B-O-L-A-G-N-A.
Where was I? BOUNDRIES. Boundaries that determine that certain programs can be considered quite proper entertainment for one subset of the population, yet decidedly eccentric for another. Sadly, the need to even type these paragraphs in proves that those boundaries are still much too firmly in place, and it'll be many a day before The Hulk and My Pretty Pony share screen time. (Robot Chicken aside.)
Forthwith, I declare that no demographic divider, be it gender, age or other, should force anyone into a certain block of entertainment...but I drift further away from the point of this entry and having already, rather desperately, used up my daily allotment of "forthwith", I'd best get on with it.
DAMN! I want a cigarette.
POINT BEING. Four days. No cigarettes. A few nights back, first night with no smoke, a character on Ghost Whisperer went outside with a cigarette at a traumatic moment and just went through the motions of smoking without lighting it. I thought to myself...hmmm, I kinda get that.
That was then. Tonight I fully understand the urge to go through the motions, but fear the relative ease of lighting the sucker should I try to play a game of chicken with him. After all, my pride's at a low ebb and I'd be more likely to swerve first.
I can't even slurp on a beer or sip slowly on a glass of wine to chill me out. Drinks and the satisfying smoke are as magnets ever pulling towards each other. Neither feeling quite complete without the other there to hold its hand.
So, I'm off to chomp on pretzel sticks and day old Halloween Candy (another magnetic duo.) BUT before I go, let me state quite firmly that the first non-smoking person to encourage me on my quest will be summarily dismissed...and I then promise to light one up in that persons' honor. And if I should succumb and smoke again, I dare you nonsmoking lot to say something. I'll blow rings right into your face.
It may sound unkind, but only the truly initiated can understand what I'm missing. The rest of you, zip it.
Realizing that I can do a convincing impersonation of that guy. You know, the guy who easily makes meaningless conversation in hallways and elevators with people.
or
Realizing that I'm happy to act like that guy because he helps me gather a nice paycheck at the end of the week and these are the conversations which grease the wheels that keep business turning.
Exciting conversations like:
Me: Hey. Them: Hey. M: How’s it going? T: Oh, you know, it’s only Tuesday. M: Right you are! But at least it isn’t Monday! T: Too true!
or
T: Hey. M: Hey, what about the crazy color blue they painted the halls! T: I know! Makes me feel like I’m living inside an aquarium. M: Right you are! But it least it isn’t gumball pink! T: Too true!
Spent most of this week doing some minor copy writing at work and some pretty major document creation/manipulation. Came home tonight to leave a rather long response to names' latest entry, so I'm just about typed out.
I will say that I've seen both The Davinci Code and the latest X-Men movie this week and feel that neither deserve the negative reviews they've received from some quarters.
That being said, Davinci Code is too faithful to the book, and ends up a bit meh (that is, less than suspensful) to someone who read it first. (and Tom Hanks, though I like him as an actor, really wasn't who I wanted in that role.) Not my fave, but not the heinous atrocity others have claimed it to be.
X-Men: The Last Stand did lack a few vital scenes that would have solved some of my minor gripes with the film, but it's a slam bang action film with characters I've grown to love and I liked it much more than I thought I would. Especially after hearing the initial reviews. I'm also quite hopeful, given the context of some scenes that did make it into the final film, that those missing scenes I've imagined will appear on the eventual DVD release.
I had to not hire someone today. That is, I hired one person and had to tell another that the job wasn't theirs. Because that other person happens to be someone whom I already know and like made it an extra sucky thing to have to do. (Though I'm sure that it didn't suck as much for me as it did for them to hear that the job was going elsewhere.)
I also gave a few presentations today. Feedback was positive, but I still hate giving presentations.
That being said, I'd rather give presentations for the rest of the day in place of having to tell a friend that their foot didn't quite make it up to the next rung in the ladder because somebody with more and better experience showed up.
Back from the business trip. There is a drunken tale of Wednesday night that I mentioned in the last entry. I think I'll leave that out in the ether for now. The rest of the week was fun, but uneventful with the exception of Saturday night where I caught up with M, POC and T. A much needed break from work and much fun! I have a goal to do it more often, but need some extra fundage to support this aspiration.
But you're not here for that, you're here for CELEBRITIES! Warning: There are no A-List Celebrities on the following list.
Ellen Pompeo - In O'Hare and on plane from Chicago to NYC. Skinnier than Jack Sprat in person, but very nice to flight attendants. Hot boyfriend.
Julia Stiles - SOHO shopping. Baby got a bit of back and it looks good on her!
Two Gotti Brothers - Leaving downtown BR. So tiny in real life - like action figures. I won't even pretend I knew names or anything. Coworker confirmed siting.
Kiefer Sutherland - At JFK. Must admit that I never had much of an opinion on this one, but but WOW. Incredible presence, and he's pretty much a suave hottie in person.
Had one of the worst weeks of work ever. Super busy time of the year for us, and the cherry on top was discovering that a small error I made back in January has multiplied into a monetary error of significant proportions.
I know that this is par for the course for anyone spending time in Corporate America and that it's all fixed now, but I'm so tired of being stressed by work. I'm due for more than just an ulcer if I don't make a change soon.
Since I'm holding true to the promise of keeping actual details about work as much out of this blog as possible, I'll leave you with this cryptic curse: Stupid R!
Of all the perversities that Corporate America has thrown at me, the following bugs me more than any other:
The more you get paid, the ruder you get to be.
(You also get to rewrite history, forget about any part you may've played in a perceived mistake and later act as if nothing happened at all. All annoying, but the rudeness bugs me most.)
Now, if there were truly a correlation between amount of work done and salary earned, it might make all of this a little easier to take. The sad truth is that the true work is often done in the trenches and usually more than once since TPTB delight in yelling out different directions every day.
The hardest thing about being closer to the top? With every step upward, there's a smaller number of necks to choose from when the guillotine gets hungry.
Spent the past few days in the Inland Empire. Which sounds nicely exotic to folks who live outside of Southern California, but is really just a nickname for this area here.
Some would argue that the map of the Empire should also include San Dimas which is a bit off of the northwestern edge of this map that my Googlesearch found. I would agree. After all, having spent some time there in one of the malls, I can confirm that Bill and Ted would've been true teen royalty back in the day in that part of the kingdom.
That being said, I'm currently in a Phoenix, AZ hotel room and should really be dealing with work emails instead of blogging so I didn't have time to make a better version via Google and Photoshop. Perhaps I will in the future since Inland Empire would make a mighty fine title for a short story. The people there are a very pretty purple mix of the red and blue dichotomy that the media would have us believe makes up the rest of the U.S. and a tale or two would be interesting to tell.
Oh green pen...Greeny Greeny! Writing on my sticky note pad so fine a line.
I wish sometimes I could be you, with your precise edge and happy color, but I can only wax rhapsodic about your wonderfulness and barr my ears to the coworkers who call me odd.
Last week, one of my cell phone fortune cookie messages read:
Significant life changes are coming your way in the next four weeks.
I have to admit, as I sit in a San Diego hotel room dreading another presentation, it sounds like something to look forward to...as long as the changes are good ones. (No need to caution me with tales of overconfident kings at Delphi.)
I'm going to break my rule about not blogging work stuff and talk about my new cube.
They've moved us all to a remodeled floor that offers views of the windows to just about every employee. Problem is that in order to do this they had to sacrifice the nooks and crannies that made our building interesting. My first reaction yesterday was a bit negative given that I went from a 6 by 8 box to a 6 x 5 box, but after walking through some of the other areas I decided I actually lucked out. Many of my coworkers ended up in a vast field of cubes where the nooks and crannies had been torn out and turned into Dilbertland. My new minicube is at the end of a three cube aisle and right up against the window. I'm in a little outdent in the building so there's only a 3x3 set of cubes in my immediate vicinity and less than 20 in my direct line of site when I groundhog.
I have a view of Coit Tower that's right out of a San Francisco sitcom. I'm on a dead end so there's no traffic. Also, the 6x8 cube across the aisle from me is vacant until they hire the new Insert Job Here person. That could take months. Until then, I'll have a nice little annex to store crap...er I mean important work document thingys.
Hmm...yes. Perhaps I better stop now before I begin to wax poetic about Swingline staplers.
Work is still crazy busy and Tuesdays remain at the bottom of my favorite day list, but today was a vast improvement over last week.
Spent many hours this weekend doing things that I love.
Reading. Writing. Spending time with G.
Sad to say, that overly 80s Loverboy refrain runs through my head more than I care to admit these days. I really am working for the weekend. So embarrassingly mundane of me.
Yes, I know it's Friday, but it's been a rough week, okay?
Let me start by saying Tuesday is already my least favorite day of the week. True, Mondays can be rough, but generally you've geared yourself up to face them. Tuesdays, so far from the respite of next weekend, sneak up and sucker punch you when you least expect it.
The day started out with a canker sore on my tongue the size of Rhode Island. Now, I'm old enough and smart enough to know that the best way to get rid of it quickly is to keep the teeth clean and LEAVE IT ALONE. Unfortunately, my tongue has a mind of it's own and often sneaks over to visit the bicuspids before I have a chance to intervene.
So, I'm suffering through the day wishing that I could just sip on a martini. (which is one of the best ways to keep Mr. Tongue occupied in these situations.) Then I'm forced to endure the worst day of work I've had in my current company. It's been over 6 years now, so that's pretty bad. In fact, I have to say it's one of the worst days I've had since the two years of hell that were Junior High.
I can't go into specifics, but it involved someone telling me I was doing a bad job and forced me into a situation where I had to step into the middle of a firing range where everyone was shooting at everyone else. I hate being misunderstood, and I really dislike conflict. I'm the sort of person who still wonders why we can't all just get along. In fact, the older I get, the more cranky I get about it.
I came home after this very bad day and things got better, G gave me a big hug and handed me a glass of wine. (almost as good as a martini) I proceeded to get stunningly drunk. Not the healthiest response perhaps, but it worked for me in that particular moment.
Went into work on Wednesday and confronted several of the parties involved. Apologies came forth, as did praise for my calm demeanor during a trying situation. I was also reassured that my work was, as always, consistently above and beyond what was expected. The week continued to be trying and my dental appointment yesterday left me feeling as if the doctor had punched me in the jaw, but it's the weekend and somehow that makes everything feel that all may yet be very well.
I'm always amazed with my very human ability to forget the intensity of both emotional and physical pain with the passage of time. (Though emotional pain does tend to linger in little forgotten pools that I'll step into by mistake now and again.)
Tired. Been one of those work weeks where I end up in and out of the office on the 8s. Positive feedback from interview last week keeps me sane in the same way that an unchecked lotto ticket can. Pretty sure that it's not going to amount to anything in the long run, but it makes a nice springboard from which to jump into a pool of daydreams.
Yes, I'm tired and living in a world of half baked metaphors.
Had an interview with an east bay company today. It went really well, and I'll found out more later, but it seems a fun and different opportunity. I won't say much more since I hold to my original rule about keeping work very peripheral to this blog, but it's amazing how the thought of commuting frightens me.
I already feel sometimes like my 30 minute commute is a pain, but I get to be blissfully thought free or, if my brain is present and accounted for, read for a bit. What would I do if the commute suddenly turned into a 45-50 minute drive where I had to concentrate and curse out other drivers? (the other option is a 60-70 minute Muni to Bart to Bus ride which presents problems of its own)
And this company starts up about an hour earlier than I do now. The horror!
Still, I'm more intriqued than I thought I would be.
Last night I dreamt that a large gluttonous man was chasing me around a stately old theatre. He intended to tie me up with a golden chain. The links on the chain were large enough to wear as bracelets and they glittered in the lights when he swung it around to snare me with it. I woke up screaming
Reading my post from yesterday, I have to admit that it sounds as if I'd had some awful day. Granted, I did have to wake up a full two and a half hours earlier than normal.
I love sleeping in the morning. I love slowly waking up and crawling back under the covers when the room's a little too cold to face quite yet. Getting out of bed too early certainly starts the day off a bit harshly, but it wasn't like I had to go out and dig ditches. Just a normal work day with minimal stress.
Had nice conversations with both Dad and Dude in the evening. G made a tasty dinner. Tivo entertained.
So why was I such a grump at 10:30 last night? Tiredness surely played a role, but I also feel like I'm frazzled lately. Trying too hard to satisfy too many different priorities and allowing too many of them to be given only cursory attention. I had to call Dad while walking to the Muni because I worked too late and didn't want to keep G waiting any longer. Then Dude and G had to share me for an hour while I tried to spend time with both of them at once. (Hard to do when one's on the phone and there's no speaker function.) I just want to get everyone in the same room for tea and crumpets...or scones, because not everyone likes crumpets...and maybe some of those little cucumber sandwhiches because they sound yummy and some others with jam because those really are yummy so we can eat them while contempling the cucumber ones... Oops, getting tired again.
But I have realzied that one of the only times I don't have people sharing my attention is the time I spend at work. It seems a bit odd that the people I care about most have to lose out to a corporate entity.
I need a teleporter or a time machine or something.
Spent most of the week in Chicago for work. Came home and left the following morning to go camping down Big Basin.
That's where I've been in a nutshell. If you care about some random particulars, read on.
I guess I could whine about the Chicago trip and how I had to share my unrequested center seat with the arm of the large man to the left of me and the odor of the man to my right....but then, that's a tired tale that too many have told before me. Suffice it to say that United is no substitute for Jet Blue.
Did have some great food in Chicago at Vermilion. Also had great margarittas and mexican food at a restaurant who's name escapes me because I had too many margaritas. We had a nice time, but regretted the next morning when we had to wake up at 5...again. Sometimes I really do miss being 25.
Camping was, as usual, a nice break from the world though a bit hotter than we usually deal with. Upside is that sitting still reading kept the heat bearable, so I had a chance to finish up a few books in order to prepare myself for HP and the HBP. Picked it up today on the way back from camping. I should see you all again after the back cover closes.
Some days I feel like a background character in someone else's novel. This isn't as bad as it may sound. Takes the pressure off of me when some other sucker's in charge of saving the planet. I'll enjoy the break while it lasts because sooner or later, someone will come along and write The Secret Lives of Background Characters, and then I'll be on the hotseat again.
Today's the last day of vacation. I've commented often over the past few days that I'd love to win the lottery and go on vacation permanently. This comment caused several folks to feel they had to remind me that money can't buy happiness.
Hmmm...do you think anyone would give me a grant to help disprove that old saying? I'm very willing to try.
Been flying quite a bit lately and will be leaving again in the middle of next week. Not so many entries lately, but quite a bit going on.
New York continued to be a good, but tiring, trip. Shopped Soho and read various trash mags while waiting for the photographer to send over polaroids. Saw B one last time and had a nice evening hanging out on a plastic couch at X-ES. (Ah, the gays and their clever naming schemes.)
Later that week, in Southern California, the real life OC I found myself in was very unlike it's television counterpart. We stayed in a very 70's hotel that boasted a view of oil derriks and new development. Eating in too expensive restaurants and speaking with confidence during my presentations, I felt like the business man I never thought I'd become.
Yesterday on the tarmac, waiting for the plane in front of us to take off, my glance to the ground prodded a long buried conversation to the surface.
BB:Wow! Look at all the people down there. They look like ants!
FA:Big Bird, those ARE ants. We haven't taken off yet.
It seems somehow fitting that I've gone from a kid in his early 20s who longed to be jaded, to a 30something man; happy to find that he's still got a bit of a kid inside.
Spent the day shopping SOHO. Mind you, this was considered a work day. Sometimes my job rocks. You know what else rocks? My boss is NOT a morning person. We didn't have to meet until 10 this morning, which gave me a few extra hours to recover from my fun night with Launce. He and I dined at the Chelsea Grill and then crawled from a bar out of Woody Allen's Sleeper over to the East Village and ended up at The Cock. I decided it would be a good idea to walk back from there to SOHO in order to give myself a chance to sober up a bit, but ended up calling G to mapquest me back to the hotel. I had failed to remember that Broadway and West Broadway are two different streets. Ain't modern tech grand? 15 years ago I would've ended up in Little Italy and been very confused.
Anyway, went to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the Hilton. Fabulous effects and rather good singers made for an enjoyable show. The only problem? The songs are very much stuck in my head right now. I swear the air conditioner in my room is saying, "chitty chitty chitty chitty chitty chitty." Or maybe that's the drink we had at Balthazar after the show.
Been busy as the ice cream man on a hot day this week. Working long hours preparing for my upcoming trip to NYC.
Keep telling myself it'll be worth it...especially since last time around I stumbled upon this fun sign while visiting the Canadian Niagara Falls. (And yes, nice people still exist, we got the digital camera back with all the backup batteries and memory disks intact.)
Ugh. Wrote a great post about visiting Niagara Falls today with coworker C. We were viciously lost for parts of it, but laughed much. Revelation of day for us was that the Amazing Race might eliminate us after only an episode or two, but that we'd make great TV until it did (No bickering, just laughter.) But that's gone now.
Three paragraphs just disappeared into the ether. Somebody could make a nice bundle of cash if they figured out how to fix that since it happens to me at least once a month. So frustrating! When I hit save as draft, I want a draft saved, not erased for all eternity.
Enough moaning, I'm going to bed now remembering the giggles of the day.
Climbing up through the steel and concrete of downtown San Francisco this morning, I caught the lingering soaked-in scent of campfire smoke. After three showers and several changes of clothes it seemed a bit odd that I’d still be carrying it around, so maybe nature’s trying to tell me something.
I’d been reading Tom Robbins’ Villa Incognito during my commute and my mind’s been full of animism and the idea that every living thing has spirit. Not a new concept for me, but something that’s been buried under too many years of dance halls and drugs.
Okay, maybe that last part’s a little hyperbolic and/or misleading, and I do beg your pardon. It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to tap anything in to the computer and the words are welling up; flooding to the surface of my skin and jumping off on whatever keys they see fit. I have lost all control.
This entry has been brought to you by the letter M who is tired of being a corporate cog. BEHIND THE BLOG: He composed it much earlier today in email format. The more legitimate work related email he could've been writing championed ideas that had been reduced, by committee, to a tepid and salt free state. Ain't corporate america grand?
I'm in the midst of the silly season at work, and while writing about all the craziness does help to keep me sane, I need to keep that offline due to a certain odious sense of honor I hold about promises made to my company. For my loyal readers, all 8 of you, I do whole heartedly apologize, but that's it for this evening.
2005-02-09
DOUBLE FEATURE: triple giggle and pimp pine pictures
Click through to GAWKER to see an article that made me giggle thrice. (Thanks to Michael for pointing out this particular story.)
1. I like the idea of myself as a "sartorially-challenged, shut-in computer nerd with a sicko crush on Scarlett Johansson and the skinny guy from The O.C"
2. Directly below the article they have advertising banners flicker in and out from various national brands and the following plug: "Gawker Media - Gawker and seven other weblog titles - brings a young and influential audience to brand advertisers." That's either sadly hypocritical or deliciously ironic, but it's funny either way. (I vote for the latter. I've always liked Gawker...and several of their seven other weblog titles.)
3. Well, you'll have to guess at the third giggle, but if you know me it'll be pretty obvious once you read the article.
In other news: I spent most of last night organizing two years worth of photos. There were a lot of pictures to go through, but the time consuming part of the task became remembering all the good times and retelling stories with G. This one in particular had a lot of good associations with it.
Imagine my surprise when a closer examination revealed a frolicking Sponge Bob sprinkling his special brand of love around my old stomping grounds.
Belated thanks to Dude and Dudette for the doubles you gave us at the last barn bash. Can't wait for the next one!
We have a janitor with an environmental complex. People who've thrown papers or cans into their trash baskets will find them the next morning placed neatly on a corner of their desks.
Someone made the mistake of mentioning this to our battle axe of an admin...ok it was me, but I didn't intend any harm! During an unguarded moment I told her the story as an amusing anecdote. Mostly because I'm a bit of an envirohound myself and thought it was neat that the janitor cared too. Big Mistake. Shortly after my telling her, she sent off a scathing email to the director of building management which soundly slapped him for allowing his employees to be so "disrespectful". I know this because she cc'd the entire office on the mail.
We didn't have any more enviropiles left out after that, but every once in a while a random bottle or can will be placed on the edge of a cube. The poor guy just can't help himself! He wants to save the world one can at a time, and I can respect that.
In fact, while I'd heard many folks complain about the enviropiles before the nasty email went out, everyone seems to have had a change of heart. This morning, old Battleaxe came by and queried what an empty soda bottle was doing balanced on top of a cube wall. My coworker, who'd been one of the worst non-recyclers pre-email, claimed the can atop the cube as her own and marched it down the hall to the recycling bin. I know for a fact that the bottle belonged to someone else.
So in a twisted way, the nasty attitude of old Battleaxe ended up accomplishing what the janitor had hoped for all along: an office that recycles.
Coworker returned from her trip to Australia bearing traditional Australian sweets. Well traditional, colonial Australian sweets. Which means they're mostly British type things with names like Violet Crumble and Cherry Ripe. I did find a Caramello Koala though. The small print on the back tells me that it originated in Tasmania. That's enough to tempt me into trying it right now...but I'm being good. I already filled myself up on G's latest ice cream concoction: Chocolate Chip with REAL chocolate chips instead of the little shards that come in the store bought kind.
I took my lunch break at my desk today in order to read through recaps of some of my fave shows on Television Without Pity.
I've avoided TWP for quite some time now because I knew that it would become like heroin to me, yet another maze to lose myself in on the internet. See, what I love about the internet is the words. Pictures, moving images, and sound all add to the experience, but I'm almost happier with a text-centric page since I've always had the ability to bring text to life inside my head. It's not as intense when reading non-fiction, but exists in a watered down form. The more descriptive the passage, the better the trip.
I don't read fiction as often as I'd like because this ability to shut out everything but the vision of what I'm reading can sometimes distract from important happenings in the physical world around me. This made itself clear again today when a link from a page on TWP describing an episode of LOST took me for a ride into memory town.
The author made a reference to a series of books I'd been quite obsessed with as a teenager. He also kindly linked to a web page recapping each chapter. Only a few lines to describe each chapter, but the characters and places depicted jumped back to life for me as if I'd only left them yesterday. Entire story lines were pulled from somewhere in my subconscious and began playing again.
Sitting at your desk and having a vision of a story you once knew is not the best thing to be doing at work. My parents used to tell me that they could've cracked an egg over my head while I was reading and I would only have noticed should the yolk come between myself and the pages.
The VP who stopped by didn't have an egg and it took him tapping me on the shoulder to break me out of it.
Now a tap on the shoulder may not seem a worthy alert based on my earlier mention of a cracked egg on the head so I need to confess to the following: It wasn't the tap that actually alerted me, but the fact that someone had "invaded" my cube. Funny how easy it is to feel territorial about a small square of space that the company truly owns.
Fortunately it was just after lunch, and the VP's a nice guy, but I don't think he would've been quite as amused if it had been a bit earlier or later in the day.
All that being said, I wouldn't trade my ability to fade into the written word for anything in the world. In fact, I plan to indulge in it a bit more often -at appropriate times of course- in hopes of avoiding a future workplace incident.
So I found the BEST Philly Cheesesteak in San Francsico over in North Beach this afternoon. Being adventurous - and a bit skeptical that the sub would taste anything like a true cheesesteak - I ordered it with hots. They were good, but the sub was SO true to what a cheesesteak should taste like, that I pulled 'em all out to better savor the truly authentic taste I found. (If you've ever enjoyed a real Philly Cheesesteak, you'll appreciate my quest for a good facsimile. Seems they get less authentic the further you are from Philadelphia. In a way the same is true for burritos and Mexico...but I digress.)
Here's the Jerry Lewis part. During lunch my glasses started driving me crazy, and I decided to put my contacts in.
Ouch. Don't put in contacts after pulling jalapenos out of a sub. Double ouch. I spent the better part of an hour looking as if I'd been tear gassed. Thankfully it's a very quiet week at work and there weren't many people around to see me looking like a 60's radical who didn't get out of the president's office in time, but did I mention ouch?
I feel as if I have been carrying around this psychic load over the past few weeks because of several presentations at work. Two were finished as of last Thursday, but then the same day I gave the second one, my director let me know that I needed to present at another, bigger event next week.
I found out today that I won't have to present after all, because...well, it would be boring to explain, but it involves some office politics in which I came out a winner and I now feel as though Santa came early.
For the first time I truly feel the season instead of fretting over work.
So goodbye grumpy Mikey! (Hopefully all the way into New Year!)
It's been hectic at work this week. I zipped an email to my San Fancisco sister explaining that the proverbial excrement was flying and I felt it was my duty to run around with the fan, keeping it out of the path.
She wrote back that an umbrella would be a better option.
So, for all of you who've been wondering, they've decided NOT to sell. It'll take some time, but I'm sure I can double-think myself into a positive attitude eventually.
Don't much want to think about today because that would just lead to thinking about tomorrow...which is more work and big headaches this week. Much ado about something of little import. That reminds me, it's actually not that hard to pick up a monkey from the airport. It's just a matter of making sure your papers are in order and that you've lined the back of your station wagon with plastic.
It's NOT a good idea to try and befriend monkey while still at the airport. Especially if you decide that letting the monkey out of his cage will show him that you're a "good" human. He'll just throw his poop at you and run for the nearest loading dock. Later, after several well placed tips to the right folks, the incident will be overlooked and you'll be free to take your monkey home, but you'll have wasted valuable time and money in the process....and probably just confused your poor monkey.
I had an opportunity to travel someplace rather fabulous for work. (Easy work too, not hard work.) I say "had" because I turned it down.
Not sure why, but it feels like the right thing to do. I was hoping that typing it in might spark some sort of internal dialouge, but it basically boils down to the fact that I really don't want to go. But that's what puzzles me. Why don't I want to go? After all, this is a real boondoggle of a trip and there's no good reason for me not to go...except that I really don't think it'd be a good idea. Odd that.
Nice to take a long shower on a weekday morning. Nice to sit in front of the glowing screen before work and let my fingers tiptoe across the keyboard. Nice to eat toasted slices of pear bread with a cup of coffee brewed right here at home. Nice to not race around finding shoes and shirt. Nice to not worry about sardinizing myself into the subway car. Nice to spend a few quiet moments with G.
Nice to not rush.
Because today I will watch socks being imortalized on film.
Well it's back to my old workaholic ways. Late nights and a bit too much stress. Somewhere along the line I picked up a nasty stomach bug and I actually left work early to just lie in bed and moan.
Ooog...speaking of which, it's time to say hello to my porcelain friend again.
Oh yes, I'm back to my work-a-holic ways. As much as I sometimes moan about work, I must find something about it satisfying since I'm willing to put in the extra hours and energy to do more than expected. Sure there are rewards, but they come at such large intervals that it's hard to tell if I'm really doing it for them or if I have some hidden masochistic streak inside me.
Anyway. Point is that it's been another long week, yet I'm on a bit of a high from working so much. Odd that. (and apologies to Mikey Upstairs...I promise to call about the Rufus CD this weekend!)
Question of the day: Does everyone call them smashed potatoes now, or is this just a conceit of the Food Network?
Just a quick note to say I still have a job. That said, it's looking like a true reorg, and I need to wait for the dust to settle before really assessing the situation.
PS I've had a couple comments that the new font size is too tiny on some systems, so I'm going back to the larger size. In other news, webstats is listing countries of origin again. I love knowing that someone in Japan randomly came across the site and stayed for a little visit.
Had a pleasant weekend in Sacremento with G's parents. Ended up taking the train there since Zip (my car) overheated on Friday and needed to go to car hospital. Amtrack may not be as glam as it was back in the day, but it's still a rather nice way to travel.
Tomorrow I have a doc appointment first thing in the morning and then have to rush into work for a 10 am meeting to see whether or not I have a job still in our reorganized company....either one of these events might alter my life, but it's all going to be ok. I've got G as a wonderful constant. Love you Honk!
It's been a harsh week. Announcements about who's going and who's staying at work won't be made until the week after next and the stress is getting to everyone, meanwhile we're supposed to go on doing our jobs as if everything were normal. I can usually put on a happy face at work even when I'm down, but this week I really lost the motivation. Meanwhile, the fact that I could be laid off is putting me into a general space of insecurity that I'm magnifying in my life around me. I try to keep up the happy act, but things with G are being strained too.
I know he loves me, but I am letting the insecurity get to me and want to be reassured constantly that everything's ok between us. (which it is...other than my being a needy bastard these days....and a general downer every night I get home) I'm in a space where I want a lot of hugs and it's not easy to hug a crank meister, so his week's been strained as well. The thing is that I am also a selfish guy who feels that what I'm going through is the most important thing in the world, so I expect everyone around me to adapt to my needs. This is a truth about myself in general and honestly something that I'm not displeased with, it's gotten me to a place where I can be there for other people without letting myself get too run down. However, in situations where I'm being needy, it does tend to make me angry at those around me for not understanding that my feelings are paramount and that they can't be worrying about their own needs when mine aren't getting met. I know this is ridiculous and end up pushing everyone away in an attempt to stop the madness, reaching out very rarely to connect with friends etc. Being in a relationship makes this HARD. (Hug me! Leave me alone! Hug me! Leave me alone!) G must feel like a top spinning around.
At the same time, I'm wishing he could be more understanding of the fact that I'm going through a really rough patch and just ignore the insanity.
All day meeting today and tomorrow....and early in the morning too... ugh. It's funny how sitting in a meeting all day can make me want to just crawl into bed and fall asleep the moment I get home.
We watched L.I.E. tonight. Intense and disturbing at points, but beautifully filmed and very true in many ways. Reminded me a bit of The Ice Storm for some reason. I admit to leaving it in the DVD player for quite a few weeks because of my fear that the subject matter would bring up too much shit for me due to my own personal history as a survivor of abuse. However, in the end it wasn't so much about inappropriate relationships as it was about the duality that lives within us all. Still not recommended for the faint of heart, but otherwise a very worthwhile watch.
Just got home and am looking forward to bathing in the gamma rays. Had my first official presentation in the new job, and it was ok. (I did have that meeting a few weeks back where I found out I'd be presenting about five minutes before it started, but I don't count that, even though it went well.) Photoshoot next week should be fun, but it's local and nothing too fabulous so I'm not getting too psyched up. Wishing I could go on the larger shoot early next month, but budget restrictions are making that pie in the sky. Oh well, I did get to interact with a hunky model today so overall I don't have much to complain about now do I? Really not a bad way to spend the morning.
Nope, not much news to report on a personal level. I continue to work long hours...which is my own call. My boss has asked several times this week whether he can help out and other than two small projects, I've kept it all to myself. Because the job is new and I'm dealing with taking over from someone with very different organizational skills, I figure it's better to put in the long hours now and just sort things out so that next season won't be quite so hectic. That being said, I did know that the hike in salary would mean a hike in responsibility and that the next few months would be busy so this could all be normal. Yuck.
In other news. I'm officially addicted to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on Bravo. I thought I wouldn't like it, but it's actually quite funny and...even in my gayness I must admit this...I've picked up a few tips. Who knew toothpaste would clean a candlestick? OK G did, but I missed that day in Queer Cleaning 101.
Also should mention that I'm sitting through Boy meets Boy as part of my gay duties. It seems pretty equal to The Bachelor or Bachelorette or any of those other dating reality shows, so if you like them I'd give it a big thumbs up. The thing is that those sorts of shows, gay or straight, give me knots in my stomach because I suffer from a condition known as sympathetic embarassment. How can they do it? Put themselves out there for all the public humiliation? However, growing up in a world where my gay icon was Jack Tripper on Threes Company, I am amazed that we're finally getting more representation in the media. (And yes, I know Jack wasn't gay, but that's the whole point...there was nobody else) So I'll endure my stomach knots in silence and make frequent trips to the kitchen for cookies.
Been a long week at work. The new job is kicking my ass...still. In a good way by challenging me and allowing me to learn new things. It's as if I've entered into some intensive training course....the only difference being that I don't know when the course ends which makes it frustrating. If I could look ahead and know that by September 1st I will have reached a comfort level, that would help me allot energy properly. As it is right now, I just keep pushing and hoping that I'll have the stamina to keep it up....and accept the semi numb feeling I have at the end of each day.
In the grand tradition of life imitating life, I had a dentist appointment today to have two fillings replaced. They shot me full of novacaine and I couldn't feel my lips for several hours. This sounds awful, but actually it's a perfectly good excuse to sit around and vegetate in front of the television while sipping juice through a straw.
OK, not really, but that's the song on in the background and I always get an excited feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear it. As if I was about to go loop-de-loop on a rollercoaster.
Got to watch focus groups today. Can't tell you about what, but I can say that there's something so odd about sitting behind the mirrored glass eating pizza and M&Ms while a complete stranger discusses, in intimate detail, aspects of your product that really don't amount to much in the grand scheme of things. Sure, big money decisions will soon be made. But now and again it hits me that I'm sitting in a sterile, air-conditioned room helping decide the future of "insert mass produced product here" while children starve and soldiers kill each other in other countries. C'mon. I'm glad I have a job, but is this what they're fighting for? Maybe....and maybe that's ok. But it's not ok that there's some kid who'd gladly beg me for the crust I'm leaving behind because I'm scared of too many carbs.
Shut up y'all. Just because it's been said before by many others doesn't mean I ought to keep it to myself. In fact if no body's reacting than maybe it hasn't been said enough....maybe it's time for a loop-de-loop.
I think I need a vacation. Today was my first official day in the new position and while I'm excited about it all, my energy level was low and I found myself thinking about how far away the next long weekend is. I've been wanting to do something with G that isn't just a trip back home to MA. Not that I don't want to see everyone, but we haven't actually taken a true week-long vacation on our own in the whole time we've been together.
My trip to Hawaii a few years back with Bunny Girl was one of the best vacations I ever took. Beautiful island and beautiful company. B and I were so in sync with each other back then, that we could easily give each other space when it was asked for and felt free to ask for it when needed. We'd also worked out a decision making process that truly took each other's desires into consideration and ended up leaving both of us happy. (It helps that we'd recently been practicing choice as a method of being happy. So simple, yet such a hard concept for many to grasp.) Even when there was friction, as in the lava talk, we'd learned to get it out in the open and then let go. A bit like a well married couple, minus the sex. (Though we gave each other space for that too now that I think of it.)
After almost three years together, G and I are getting close to a similar space. Still a ways to go, and the processes are a bit different, but it's there and I long to spend time away from it all with him and just him. Maybe again to the Big Island since it was truly one of the most beautiful spaces I've ever been to, but maybe someplace new to both of us. Iceland comes to mind for some reason. We both have a strange fascination with the green island nation up north, and it would be fun to share discovering it with him.
Random thought: I always feel great on islands and peninsulas and they tend to dominate my dreams. Cape Cod, San Francisco, Hawaii, St. Barts...even Manhattan and Boston in a strange way. Once an island and a peninsula respectively that have taken on a whole new identity as the years went on.
Well, now it's even more official. The job was offered by my new manager and I accepted. Exact start time is somewhere between next week and the week following depending on some arcane HR ritual. (I believe that they gather around a pile of employee guideline binders and dance a jig widdershins while setting it all on fire. Afterwards, the exact start date can be deciphered from the ashes. Never fear, it's always within two weeks of official offer.)
No matter, a huge weight has been lifted...and some people have it much worse.
Well it's just about official. I've accepted the price and should be offered the job tomorrow. Rather nasty experience in many ways, but a good learning.
In similar news, I will continue to believe that it is a basic human trait to find something redeemable (and often cute) in every situation.
Still no word....just lots of little meetings between the director and someone from HR. I had a plan to pounce on him tonight for more info, but he snuck past my radar and I remain uniformed. I have one word for y'all. ARRRRGH!
Still no word from the powers that be on the workfront. Strange interview today. It went will but the whole situation is just a bit odd. Can't say more than that really, but I can say that I'm stressing a bit about it all and wish that they'd make up their minds. Synchronicity has us catsitting for Hugs for the past few days which means we can make use of his jacuszzi. Nothing like a nice soak in happy bubbles to calm one down. Still, they better make up their minds soon or they're likely to see that it's not just 'He's a cleverish man. Call!', but also 'An evil, charmless leach'.
Special thanks to the folks at Anagram Genius for giving me those and hundreds of other anagrams of my name!
No time to write much since I really ought to be working, but I'm kinda keyed up about the possible raise/promotion thing which STILL hasn't been decided upon. Position becomes vacant as of next Tuesday, so they really need to make a decision soon, but HR is moving veeeeeeeery slowly. I hate being at the mercy of that mysterious department.
In other news: Manor House is fantastic. Find it on your local PBS and watch watch watch. Also, the website is one of the most comprehensive that I've had the pleasure of visiting lately, and I highly recommend both show and site to anyone who's ever read a Victorian/Edwardian novel and longed for the romance of an era gone by.
Well, work was crazybusy this week. My boss was away so I ended up having to take over for him for the first three days and still do my own job. On Thursday morning when he returned, I went into his office and let him know that as of that point I'd already put in a good 40 hours so I would be taking Friday off. Being a pretty cool bean, he had no problems with it so I've been home today, sleeping in late, making some chicken stew and sending birthday cards off to M. HAPPY 33!
In other news, taxes are due on Tuesday and I still haven't done mine. Ugh. It's because last year I ended up owing a little bit and I'm scared of finding out that this year will be the same. Tomorrow, I plan on getting it over with. Today is about taking a little break. G and I are heading over to Cole Valley for a nice cafe au lait and tartines at the appropriately named Boulange de Cole Valley. Yum!
I'm feeling extra tired and old this week. A cog in the machine, just grinding away until I eventually snap and get replaced with a newer, fresh faced cog. The sad thing is I guess I'm ok with this. Why? Because of days like this one...
...it's from last weekend we went to Kelly's Mission Rock and had brunch with Hugs. (His treat! Thanks!) It was a very nice day. This weekend we'll do something else that'll make it all worthwhile again. I wouldn't get days like that unless I cogged away now and again. I probably wouldn't appreciate them as much either.
I've decided that while frustrating, my job is better than digging ditches. So I will count my blessings.
Blessing # 1: A legitimate part of my job involves going to sites such as A&F, and surfing around past all those cute guys.
Blessing #2: Checking out a Kenneth Cole shoe auction on E-Bay invites compliments from my boss instead of reprimands.
Blessing #3: Speaking of shoes...I have, over the past few years, gotten some GREAT deals on shoes. Have I mentioned I'm a shoe whore? Not something many people know about me considering the ratty state of some of the shoes I wear. G knows the truth. He often calls me Imelda. Our bed doesn't have dust bunnies underneath. It has colonies of shoes.
Not much to say today. Work was extra hellish this afternoon with deadlines crashing down all around and general confusion amongst coworkers. It's days like this that I really wish I could stay home, sit on the back steps and read a nice book in the sunshine. A little bit of Christmas, the whole year round.
I can't really write much about my job. It's sounds silly but a lot of things are considered proprietary information and I sure don't want to get into trouble for what I do in my down time. So as far as this site is concerned, I work at the American Icon.
Then there's the advice. When I say that I work for this American Icon, everybody wants to give me their advice. Whether they're a teacher, a doctor or a garbage collector, they think they have the solution for my company's problems. Not only that, but they seem to feel it's their duty to point these problems out. I'm not quite sure if this is because of my company's iconic status, or just because people want to believe they know everything. Maybe it's a bit of both.
Mom's still in the hospital. She's calling on reserves of strength to get her through all the tests. Must be very frustrating to endure them only to be told that they can't figure out what caused the problem in the first place. It's times like these that it's very hard to be a full country away from where they are. G and I talk about moving east now and again. G's all for it. I want to be closer to the family, but I'm very nervous about my quality of life back there. Right now I have a job that drives me crazy and stresses me out, but deep down I know how lucky I am to have some passion for the work I'm doing during 1/3 of my waking hours. I'm scared of jumping to another company and finding that the corporate culture there isn't as flexible as the one I'm in now. (For all my complaints about the business side of things here at the American I, they really do promote freedom of choice in your personal life.)
Nevertheless, a move to the east is unavoidable over the next few years, and I ought to start looking forward to it. (If you can't change the situation, you can always change your mind!) If I can move up at least one rung here at the American I, I'll be in a better position to ask for the same flexibility of schedule that I enjoy now in a new company.
OK, I'm sure you all cared SOOO much about that, but this is my blog after all so...thpppt.
Another day done. Corporate America can be rather surreal sometimes. Not in a Dali melting clock sort of way, but instead in an Orwellian doublethink sort of way. Only we're being paid rather well to think that certain strategies are right on, when in reality we'd never adopt them in our own personal ideal worlds. Not a matter of right and wrong really, just democracy in action. "I play it the company way..."
Had dinner with Lena tonight. Someday I'll write more about her and how our wonderful relationship started, but not tonight as my eyes are beginning to droop. I will say that every time we go to Eliza's, I try to order less than the time before yet I inevitably end up stuffed. I blame the mu-shu.
Visited with the southern cousins this evening after finishing up another day of too many shoes. (don't even ask) They are doing well and the little guy is turning into a real little person. He woke up a bit after I got there and ate some food with us. They don't believe in baby food and feed him bits of real food which he does really well with. I tend to agree with this philosophy. After all, children survived without the benefit of puree for quite a few centuries didn't they? I love seeing kids at his age because they see everything as brand new still. After dinner we sat around in the living room, and having gotten used to my presence, he started interacting with me a bit more. I got to lift him up over my head and play superman. Pure joy! Reminds me not to take life too seriously. A nice little break from the world of discussing how best to make our products look enticing to consumers. I do enjoy the job, but it's good to think about what's really important in life: going Wheeee! every once in a while. :)
A legitimate part of my job involves going to sites such as 
